I really, really hope things work out for you.
I know how you feel about hugs, literal and cyber.
When I was a kid--and still somewhat today--I used to get upset when people hugged me. Even today, if someone taps me on the shoulder from behind, I feel like jumping out of my skin. So, here is a cyber-cup of herbal tea, a good cyber-book, and space to just "break down and let it all out."
God be between you and harm in all the dark places you must walk.
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"God, shmod! I want my monkey man!"--Bart Simpson
"All right, I admit it! I am the Lindbergh baby! Wah! Wah! I miss my fly-fly da-da!"--Grandpa Simpson