My life is a total bore and its getting depressing

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I'm a person of action. I like being busy but for two months now I have not being doing a single thing. I have no way to get any where. There's no was I could talk to anyone besides being at Church but to me that's just a routine I feel as if no one really wants to get to know me. I know you hate hearing this from me but for me life sucks. Tell me what's the real need for love and compassion? All I get from here is critizism. People telling me what I should do and what I shouldn't do. Do this, do that. All of that does major damage to my low self esteem already and even I was on my way of getting that self esteem up but what's the use now? Maybe if I could get some real truthfulness and encouragement perhaps. Not on ways that I'm doing wrong. The thing is that's what my dad has been doing always pointing out the things that I'm wrong. All my life he's been telling me that. What do I get from you all? The same thing. What's the help in that? I know my mistakes I know what I'm doing wrong but pointing them out to me is not going to get me better. I still haven't gotten over Depression and it'll possibly still be with me for a long while.
I'm not leaving if that's what you all are thinking. I just wanted to share what's on my mind. I just needed to get it out before it gets me down way down like I was several months ago. I guess you've heard enough from me so what's the use in me continuing?

I'm really doubting I'll get any encouraging words. I don't know why I even posted this thread. I guess you all would like to wash your hands of me. You already had enough of me so why should I bother. I really considering canceling my membership here. If anyone has any real reasons I should stay please say so because what I'm getting from mostly everyone is that they don't want to do with me.

Don't feel down. Life doesn't suck as much as you think.

How so Alex? I've lost the only woman I think I would ever love all this year. I messed up with Fiz. Everyone here thinks I'm a total loser. No one really seems to care about my problems. I'm now really truely crying as I write this. How can life not suck? This place is like the only real safe house I know. The only place I really can consider my home. The only thing I'm getting is stife and this is really stressing me out. I try to be compassionate of others but all I end up getting is...well who cares?

i'm sorry you're feeling down, and believe me i get really down and even suicidal sometimes, like i don't know my reason of being brought into this world..it's a real b***h sometimes, but i try to get through it one day at a time, though it's not at all easy...how can you live or enjoy life when you can't relate to anyone?

I know how can I ever relate to anyone?

you have to be normal to relate to most people...but i'm not normal..nor have i ever considered myself to be..

I know I'm not normal but you see my ex fiance she has AS. I knew everything about her.

ex-fiance? why did it not work out for you?

also, sometimes the weather is a factor in my depression..i'd think i cheer up a little if we got a little rain around here for a change..it's been too hot around here lately..too hot for april

She told me that she didn't love me as much as I did. I still love her though.

You didn't lose Fiz because she was already taken, regardless of the fact that she wasn't seeing anyone.

I found that out when I read her journal but do you have any other good news?

I reccomend taking up a hobby. Preferably two.

Just don't do something like...a double-dose Magic: The Gathering and Yugi-Oh card game duo. You'll run low on funds if you get into it.

I recently took up woodworking when I can squeeze it in.

(Note: Yugi-Oh sucks )

I hope things improve with you soon!

Well, you write novels (apparently according to your profile), maybe you could write about your experiences, and turn them into a book?

Sorry I am new to this forum, I was wondering what other support and or therapy you've had, if you don't mind me asking?