time to get practical how do i leave?

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confirmation of what i said before. they have ceeced to care problaly a long time ago
at best they just want to warehouse me

So what are you going to do now? Are you going to escape or not?

When talking to your friend about moving out, use code words so your brother can't listen in and blab about it to your parents. You and your friend will know what you're talking about, but to your brother, it'll seem like a bunch of "boring intellectual stuff that my brother always talks about". Here are some suggestions of code works to get you started. Since I'm into trains, here are the code words I would use. You can base your code words on any topic you want; just remember to keep it obscure enough so no one would catch on.

Actions:
move out - take a train
pack your things - make a reservation with Amtrak
sneak out of your house - get onboard the train
cut off communication - abandon the rail line

Things:
your parent's home - departure terminal
the new apartment - arrival station
your or your friend's car - Amtrak first class
public transit or taxi - Amtrak coach
essential possessions - carry-on luggage
other possessions - checked luggage

People:
your parents - truck drivers
people on your side - rail carriers
people on your parents' side - trucks

Have questions, comments, or concerns about my plan? Let me know what you think.

guys i changed my mind about leaving

Why do you keep changing your mind? Are you thinking logically about all of this or are you getting caught up in the fear of the unknown? What would be the wisest choice? Should you put up with abuse? No. Is your family going to stop the abuse? No. Do you need to leave and find a safe place, even if temporarily? Yes. Just do it. I can't see how staying in an abusive situation would be beneficial.

PM me I'll tell you what's going on.

fear of the unknown, and i have no i idea where to go, plus these medications i have been on are a massive complication, i would love to know of safe places to be, i'll need medical treatment for all the
garbage i've been on

I would suggest that you begin building an "outside" support system. Surely there are teachers, health care providers or friends that you can begin to confide in that would help you and encourage you. Do you have a church? If not, consider attending a local congregation. You can get alot of support there; emotional, spiritual and physical.

I think going to a church (or a synagogue or a mosque, for that matter) for support will do more harm than good. Churches tend to be notorious for "supporting traditional family values" (read: taking the parents' side), because of the "honor your parents" commandment (Exodus 20:12 KJV). In the best case, the religious leaders will keep using religion to talk you out of it, since running away from home is not "honoring." In the worst case, they'll rat you out to your parents, since in the Biblical times, "honoring" meant blindly obeying no matter what, and kids were second-class citizens at best. So I recommend going through alternative support systems, outside the religious community. Shelters for abused people may be a nice alternative if you can't find your own apartment.

Aspie1, Surprisingly, I have found the exact opposite to be true. Of course I cannot speak for all churches.