Body Dismorphic Disorder...anyone else dx'd/suspect

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I sometimes look in the mirror...it happens now and then, every few years for a peroid of a few months or weeks; I start to lose weight , I think I look really old and ugly, my nose looks massive. I think I look disgusting. I think that I must've been kidding myself when I looked in the mirror before to think I was good looking. I cover up my body and try to hide from people when I go out becuse I think they must see all my faults. I think about plastic surgery alll the time.

It lasts for a few months, or weeks and then I go back to normal again and think I'm quite attractive ish. I don't know if this is body dismorphic disorder or just depression, I don't think I'm depressed at the time but you never know.

My mother was a picker-on-tiny-details, and generally ran me down about my appearance (spots, hair, fat legs, teeth and a myriad of other things) non-stop. She did definitely have OCD. I can see how someone with AS who generally lacked social confidence might direct this towards themselves, but my mother didn't have AS; she was, I believe, a narcissist, which is a whole different ball game because they believe they're perfect, so the flak has to land on someone else.

I suffer from generalized anxiety and depression, but not, I think, OCD. I generally went through life for years thinking all my problems were down to me not looking acceptable (Ligea, I was explicitly told by my mother that not looking nice was why I had no friends) - but rather than being obsessed with fixing it, I got to thinking that nothing I did would enable me to attain that magical state, so why bother? It took till my 30s to undo some of the damage and learn that there were other things I could be valued for. I never had BDD, I don't think, but I wonder if it's possible to have BDD by proxy, because if anyone had that the motherbeast certainly did.

Rather different from what some of you have gone through, possibly, and I don't think there are any easy answers...The only single thing I would say to anyone with issues over their appearance is to steer clear of the media as far as possible. We're force-fed a diet of so much airbrushed perfection these days, it's a wonder anyone likes their body.

Can relate to the OP very much. Am not diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder. Believe that it could fit me but have never talked to anyone outside my family about this problem. Also have red hair and was bullied for my hair and my general appearance in school. Believe that this problem might be a result of the bullying but think that there is also a genetic link.

Both my sister and my father have exactly the same problem. My father was never bullied. In his early 20's it got so bad that he locked himself inside his apartment for months at a time. He just couldn't bare anyone looking at him. Both he and my sister are somewhere on the autistic spectrum.

Well, it's not just me and that is a comfort in a way, but appreciate it is awful for those of you feeling same.

Seems to have a hormonal link,(for me) PMT is worse time for feeling angry and repulsed about my appearance.(like now), which can turn a bad day into a "covers over the head " day.

Ageing is not helping, no matter what reassurances or compliments I get, I can't believe them. I can only understand backhanded compliments, or those given as an insult (e.g. my ex, who told me he didn't date ugly women, and I couldn't possibly think he was with me for my conversation....although insulting, I actually could believe this)

Body Dismorphia is not a joke. Tony Attwood talks how there is a sector of women and girls who have eating diosrders who are most likely ASD and undiagnosed.

Body Dismorphia, is in my view, also closely related to sensory integration dysfunction. If one is hypersensitive, then one ican feel one's own body more acutely than others feel their's. Simply living in one's own skin is painful and ther can be all sorts of mangled sensory processes relating to one;s own body parts.
I heard or read (?) Donna Williams also talking about this.
For example, the lower and upper parts of my body feel like two different people. I am dexterous with my upper body, but feel clumsy and gauche with my lower body. I have a distinctly different sensory relationship with the left and right sides of my body also, and in earlier life could experience very strange sensations and numbing. My head could feel the size of a room, or my legs could feel like lead weights that were immovable. MY upper body would remain agile.
I also had worse hypo sensitivity in my lower limbs as a youngster. TO the point of not feeling at times.
And there have been times when the feel of skin on skin re my legs has been hideous.

It was much worse in my twenties and is more or less ok now. BUt i view it all as related to an internal sensory thermostat that is a little wonky from an ASD. Now I manage it through exercise, yoga stretches, walking etc.

This sensory stuff can lead to a weird relationship with one's own skin and physicality.

I so relate to everything you have said Ligea_Seroua.

I found this book very helpful
http://www.amazon.com/Mirror-Lindas-Bod ... 73&sr=8-18

it has got me to a point where I can face dating again, though Ive not been on any dates since reading it, I feel as if I could.

Ive always felt very bad about how I look even to the point of self harming and not leaving the house for months at a time but Ive been better than that the last few years.

I found it effects my ability to have relationships a lot as I fear other peoples opinion of me, and like you said i just assume they are lieing if they compliment me. I even go so far as to not trust peope any more if they compliment me.

My ex was very horrible about how I looked but I was uncomfortable with myself before I met him.

Im getting better with it all the time though, I found doing 'louise hay' mirror work where I say nice things to myself while looking myself in the mirror (horror!!) really helps.

I've been suspected as BDD, but my AS specialist thinks it's more likely to be due to sensory processing rather than true BDD. My body image changes, most people with BDD see a distortion that never alters.

Lotusblossom, I can agree. Too many compliments makes for a devalued currency. And for some I think it is used as a currency..."if I say xy and z I expect a return". I know women who behave like that, so I'm not just man-bashing....the "oh I love your hair, btw, can I borrow ....."

Problem is, I could not do the mirror work you suggest, although I'm sure it would be a help. I use a mirror to put my makeup on, it's sort of a ritual and I guess it's more like the way a makeup artist views a client as tasks to do rather than me regarding my own face (if you can understand that...) Kind of like a geisha (in the true sense of them as performance artists.) I try not to look in mirrors at home other wise, i can lose hours and end up extra unhappy. Irony is, everyone raves about how "pretty" my son is (he is- mini Robert Redford!!) and that he looks like me, yet I can't see it other than in his colouring.

I admit, I sometimes have Burka envy....(the head to toe black garment with only an eyeslit, worn by some muslim women). Unfortunately as I smoke and also tend to lie upside down in chairs, would probably cause offence if I wore one.

I'm a chronic yo-yo dieter myself. I've always thought that if I were model thin and had some minor plastic surgery that people would like and accept me more despite my weirdness. I typically get positive remarks about my appearance but I've never really believed any of it. I never had any idea that it could be tied to my Aspergers until now...interesting thread.

jesus, i feel the same. _o_


i think i may have bdd, but i'm afraid of getting diagnosed because i'm scared they won't let me get a cosmetic surgery. <.< (especially that my family pays for it, because they think i'll get better when i get one) i miss the times when i didn't know about such thing as bdd, when i could just admit how hideous i am, since i was sure everyone thinks the same. at least i could get some help that way. ignorance is a bliss.

than again, while some people tell me i'm delusional and i look normal, others still say that i'm ugly. <.<" no idea. maybe i'm really that hideous and some people just don't want to make me feel worse, thus lying. i should just get help if i feel like i need one. -_- idiot

I used to have major, major image issues. The weird thing is that it went away (mostly) after I found out about AS. I just figured the reason why I had so many problems fitting in, and being liked by others was because of my looks. I thought if I just figured out how to make myself look better, than things would be easier for me. I never went as far as having an eating disorder, but I did think that I was fat, which logically I know can't be true. I still feel that way sometimes, though.

I'm guessing that much of it came from how the other kids would tease me about my weight, clothes, hair...pretty much my entire physical appearance.What really drove it home was when in my early teens the other girls were being asked out, and I wasn't. That's when I really began to believe what they'd been telling me.