I'm Depressed

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Thanks goes to you for having the courage to carry yourself through such times and emerge with strength and noble character. Almost like your whole life has been a torturous chrysalis and you are finally escaping to freedom as one of nature's most divine and sought after creatures, a woman with a good attitude and a sense of humor.

It's interesting that you think I offered you a prayer. You had mentioned you were openly Jewish and I suspected your life had seen quite a bit of prayer, already. I was actually offering you a powerful curse, except in reverse.

:^)

You are a survivor. You're going to make it. Thanks for letting us get to know you.

I know what you were offering me silly. A fair bit of Metaphysics balances my realm.

As far as being openly Jewish. I'm too aspergers to even walk into my synagoge---and explain ALL THIS to them and ask for retraining. Though it is a very deep desire. It is of birth, and early family customs. Though secretly...I'd go kabbalist to fit in my other views.

My 'after' adoptive experiences in the home included metaphysics and LDS, muslim supplimented by hinduism, and later in life a little pagan/wiccan/asatru to retouch base on theories common to hinduism, metaphysics, healing, moral, and ultimately my roots.

I'm a selfish girl..

It means that at the time 1970's there was an extreme amount of anti semitism in the culture and community of orthodox soviet union, however there was also hope, activity, and subtle activism. There was also a large diaspora of soviet jews back to Israel and to the states...and wait lists. There was also a group going around ruffing up people. Mom was being raped at the time. To protect me she told me to leave and continue on with our planned excursion. Which was standing in line for bread. I don't really want to go into this. It means my mom was an educated activist who didn't think things through very well and told me it'd be ok to wear my 'memorial' (star of david) star outside.

I must agree with devonmike. I didn't know any of these things about you (although one got the impression there was something fairly serious in your backround), but from your postings one got the impression of a serious, pragmatic, yet ultimately positive mind. If you are depressed I cannot blame you. You have been through terrible things, far worse then I. Ironically one of the things that keeps me from calling myself a victim is that there are people that have gone through the things that you have that continue to fight on or those others that can't make it or aren't allowed to.

I can't truly relate to what you have been through and the emotions forced upon you, but you are now an inspiration to many people.

Yep, SeaBright's brave, intelligent, broad-minded and really quite super, and that's all there is to it.

Oh hang on, I forgot to mention inspirational, too!

You all fricken rock.

2 things.
Others brave enough to speak about the real sh***y issues inspired me.

Learning how to stop rationalizing that it could be worse and in essence start standing up for myself as if it is my right to be something other than everybody's kick bag was a tough call with all the more pressing issues in the world, ie burned women in india; the ongoing international sex trade; african genital mutilation; ect ect

I am still prone to being the kick bag in the NT world. I just kick back now-though silently and by email. Not often enough, but I'm learning.

Who knows, maybe I will affect policy one day. Maybe someday, I'll be able to do it like an NT. OR maybe someday I'll be able to do it like me and it will be heard. Though, policy changes really are a complicated array; everything is a complicated array. Even 911 is annoying--though getting 100 percent better.


Um.
Thank You all for pointing out things I hadn't heard before... I hope I can repay the favor the same to another.

Seabright, I just wanted to say that I greatly admire the way you’ve turned out. You remind me a lot of my mom, who was also molested as a child. It seems like with people who have to go through that sort of awfulness as kids they either turn out to be molesters themselves, or the greatest people in the world. And from what I’ve seen of you I think you’ve turned into one of the greatest, nicest, strongest people in the world.