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zen_mistress
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16 Oct 2010, 5:12 pm

iamnotaparakeet wrote:
Many native American tribes got to pick which animal they claimed to originate from. Since I partly derive from native Americans on my mother's side (some Cherokee) I claim the right to choose which animals I wish to claim origination from. Parakeets, I choose you!


I think that is a totem animal. I would not know what animal to choose, I am fond of too many....


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sinsboldly
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16 Oct 2010, 5:33 pm

League_Girl wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
Quote:
Gah now I am confused, again. First you say it is a personal attack and then you say it's not. Oh well, thanks for trying to explain, I don't want to frustrate you with me not getting it by keeping on asking.
Quote:

Same here, but many people simply cannot.


How can they not explain themselves?

. . . I had to flip out before he could explain himself.


who is anyone to insist that people must explain themselves? I mean what right does anyone think they have to insist that explaining themselves to others is mandatory of anyone who asks? Is it one of the marriage vows? Is it in the constitution? How is it anyone's else's business? Is using coercive methods ethical to make someone explain themselves?

As long as there is no contract that exacts subordination to another (manager to employee, for instance) I would say those that demand explanations from another can go whistle up the wind.



Are these rhetorical questions?

Just imagine if you were listening to music through your head phones and your partner came by and snatched them off your head? Wouldn't you freak out? But what if he told you he needed to borrow them or wanted to see what you were listening to before he snatched them off your head? My husband picked up my PSP and unplugged it without even telling me what he was going to do. I was already flipping out before he told me what he was doing but I was already too upset so he didn't even want to bother.


Yes, they were rhetorical questions, asking why someone should feel obligated to explain themselves because someone else demanded it of them.

As for your husbands actions, I will not comment. If that is how you want to live your life, it is none of my business and I am not going to ask you explain yourself to me.


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League_Girl
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16 Oct 2010, 5:34 pm

leejosepho wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
who is anyone to insist people must explain themselves?
...
As long as there is no contract that exacts subordination to another (manager to employee, for instance) I would say those that demand explanations from another can go whistle up the wind.

People can demand as they please, of course, but being a bit like you, such demands do not always get even a passing glance from me! However ...

The context here is first about when, where and/or how someone like any one of us either should or should not question others about things we either do not know about them (or their actions) or we have possibly heard wrongly (such as via gossip) or have even misunderstood directly from them, and then also whether or not that kind of questioning of others (for the simple sake of "just knowing") is at all akin to actually "calling someone out" either publicly or privately and/or even an actual offense committed. For example:

If I had some reason to suspect you and I might have known each other at some other site prior to my arrival here but I was not sure either way, at what point would I actually be out-of-line in asking you or anyone else about that?



Or if someone made a thread and then in one of their replies they said something else, it doesn't hurt to say you're confused because they said X in their OP and then Y. People can misread what you write due to the way you worded it or they just read it wrong. That doesn't bother me when people do it. But what bothers me is when they accuse me of lying just because they misread what I wrote and then they thought I was lying when I made myself clear. Some people just don't seem to understand so they think you have lied after you made yourself more clear or they decide you are a troll.



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16 Oct 2010, 5:41 pm

^Social stuff is very confusing. That is why I read a book.


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sinsboldly
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16 Oct 2010, 5:49 pm

leejosepho wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
who is anyone to insist people must explain themselves?
...
As long as there is no contract that exacts subordination to another (manager to employee, for instance) I would say those that demand explanations from another can go whistle up the wind.

People can demand as they please, of course, but being a bit like you, such demands do not always get even a passing glance from me! However ...

The context here is first about when, where and/or how someone like any one of us either should or should not question others about things we either do not know about them (or their actions) or we have possibly heard wrongly (such as via gossip) or have even misunderstood directly from them, and then also whether or not that kind of questioning of others (for the simple sake of "just knowing") is at all akin to actually "calling someone out" either publicly or privately and/or even an actual offense committed. For example:

If I had some reason to suspect you and I might have known each other at some other site prior to my arrival here but I was not sure either way, at what point would I actually be out-of-line in asking you or anyone else about that?


hello Joseph. I think we are talking semantics here, as asking someone to 'explain their motivations behind their actions' is much different from asking 'hey you sound familiar, were you on such and such a board around 1995?'

by the way, Yahoo chat was just getting started then, and I was on Telnet's "Lintilla" and "Iron Rose" back then. . . you? :)

Merle


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leejosepho
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16 Oct 2010, 5:58 pm

sinsboldly wrote:
Yahoo chat was just getting started [around 1995], and I was on Telnet's "Lintilla" and "Iron Rose" back then. . . you? :)

I participated in a few "chat" A.A. meetings a little over a year-or-so ago, but that is about it other than having been on a variety of discussion boards.


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