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ivegotyou
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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10 Nov 2010, 8:31 am

I read some disgusting things on the net, it hurts my feelings, but I didn't realize it was offensive until some months after i read it, i dont feel traumatized by it, ive learned to co-ope with it, i dont sit still doing nothing, i go to school almost every day, and i feel happy every once in a while, i can laugh, smile, have a good time etc., i dont feel down all the time.

i also have some sort of stalker who appeared on various locations and asked me to sit in his car, but i didnt do it, but i felt uncomfortable, it was very unpleasant.

i dont feel the fear and disgust when i think of what happened as i felt then, its unpleasant to think about, but i can remember that i was very afraid when the guy chased me, i was disgusted and just wanted to be somewhere else at the time, and when i read the disgusting stuff on the internet, i can remember the unbearable disgust i felt when i READ it, just like when i experienced being chased, but now i dont feel that great disgust anymore.

ive been able to do my daily chores, homework, hobbies, taking walks etc. just fine

am i traumatized, or just humiliated?

remember, i felt the REAL disgust sometime after the events, rape, domestic violence, bullying, kidnapping etc., you feel the disgust right there, right then.



Robdemanc
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10 Nov 2010, 8:38 am

It sounds to me like typical AS trait. I remember as a teenager I looked at my finger print through a microscope and was disgusted and horrified by what it looked like. I felt that disgust for many months afterwards and couldn't bring myself to think about fingerprints. The disgust I felt was so strong I may have retched when I experienced it. I vowed never again to look at my fingerprint through a microscope.

However, now it is many years later and I have not felt that disgust since. I would like to get a microscope and look at my fingerprints again. From what I remember it was interesting too. It looked like a weird alien landscape.

I don't think you are describing PTSD. PTSD usually has people stopped in their tracks so that they cannot function daily and are constantly reliving the traumatic event without being able to control it.



Mercurial
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12 Nov 2010, 9:12 am

I have PTSD, dx'd. I've had it for about 30 years. This doesn't sound like it to me. But this also seems like a very incomplete description of what you are experiencing.

PTSD is an very serious anxiety disorder that is triggered by a genuinely traumatic or highly stressful event or period in your life where you feel either like your life is in grave danger or otherwise profoundly violated as a person. The trauma event causes the brain to react so severely that the brain has difficultly recovering from the trauma, and this creates a kind of cascade effect of symptoms tgat make it harder and harder for the indiviudal to cope with stress on any level, even everyday stresses. Common symptoms of PTSD are:

- rage or excessive anger when stressed
- "flashbacks"to the traumatic event,
- instrusive thoughts of traumatice event, or of vague anger, violence, or suicidal ideation
- hyperviligance (a sense of always being on "red alert" and that you're never really safe)
- nightmares and insomnia
- depression
- emotional numbness
- a sense fo enstrangement from other or from society
- a decreased sense of self-preservation (poor hygiene, untreated illness, high risk behavior)
- a sense one's life will be shortened/lack of desire for long-term goals like a career, getting married, personal development
- panic attacks (including physical symptoms like pounding heart and tremors)
- avoidance of stressful situations, especially ones that are associated with traumatic event
- dysfunctional relationships
- difficulty with employment, especially due to anger issues


It seems people on the autism spectrum are more likely to have PTSD for a number of converging factors. But there needs to be a trigger event that causes the brain to react so extremely to stress and trauma that it affects how the brain copes with stress from that point on. I don't know if you have or have not had such experince in you life.

People who has several of these symptoms yet not a traumatic event as a trigger, could have generalized anxiety disorder or another type of mental illness.

People with PTSD, like me, have highened sensitivity to things that remind us our trauma. If you did have a traumatic event in your lif and your reaction to these things are because they remind yo of that trauma, you may have PTSD.

However, I must stress that PTSD can only be properly dx'd by a psychiatrist or psychotherapist. It is a serious illness that requires treatment. If you think you may have it, please don't settle for an inadequate assessment from a layperson over the internet. Please get yourself evaluated by someone qualified to give you a proper dx.



BetaWave
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26 Nov 2010, 2:17 pm

I presume it began about 8 years ago. I was about 14 years-old and my grandfather died(RIP). Have to tell, that he was my 'father' after my parents have divorced when I was 2. I looked up to him as my own father. So,after he passed away, over the years I didn't really notice anything wrong, still once in a while there were things I did in the same manner and if something came in the way, i felt misunderstood and that somebody want's to walk into my private sphere. These ritualish stuff I have noticed after I went to another city attending university. I didn't knoe what went wrong and after a while I started researching, cause I couldn't guess what was happening. I remember seeing this movie(Ultraviolet) and quote from it, when Mile Jovovich asks the little child, that why are counting?! You have OCD?!
I searched upon that and from my current status and that search I found what was happening to me since then until now...and it still does. I have tried several times, changing my way of thinking, but it didn't help. Then i realised that there is really something worng with me. Also, even earlier I had ADHD. My parents weren't aware of these things and I could explain what was happening and they have treated me like I was ding it on purpose. We had several fights upon my behavior. Even now, they don't realise the seriosity of these things and what have they missed back then.

It is a great help that I have read this thread and both replies. Thank you so much. Andrew.



Stonecold
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29 Nov 2010, 3:08 pm

Could you tell me exactly what you read about? You can PM me if you'd like.



missykrissy
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29 Nov 2010, 10:20 pm

doesn't really sound like ptsd to me. i have ptsd and i struggle with a lot of the things that were listed above. i often think of the things that happened to me and get really stressed out, i try not to dwell on it then it will get set off by something and pop back into my head. i'm not sure if reading something would be considered an actual 'trauma' or not. seems fairly mild compared to the events that would usually have to happen in order to get ptsd.



Adamantus
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30 Nov 2010, 5:14 pm

I have/had PTSD. PTSD is characterised by lots of bad memories.

The memories used to ruin my life, now the worst ones have been cured in only 2 months by EFT. I used to have bad feelings about school and several previous workplaces. I have massive relief now but I think there's still some way to go. I still have the memories but the feelings have subsided. I think that if you have autism/aspergers then the accumilation of bad social interactions can haunt you like a curse, now I put the screw ups in the context of the condition and I just experience peace instead. There's also less scope for the new memory to become a very bad one because others will interpret you as a person better.

I highly recommend the EFT-route if you have this problem.



JulieValentine
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13 Dec 2010, 3:13 am

ivegotyou wrote:
I read some disgusting things on the net, it hurts my feelings, but I didn't realize it was offensive until some months after i read it, i dont feel traumatized by it, ive learned to co-ope with it, i dont sit still doing nothing, i go to school almost every day, and i feel happy every once in a while, i can laugh, smile, have a good time etc., i dont feel down all the time.

i also have some sort of stalker who appeared on various locations and asked me to sit in his car, but i didnt do it, but i felt uncomfortable, it was very unpleasant.

i dont feel the fear and disgust when i think of what happened as i felt then, its unpleasant to think about, but i can remember that i was very afraid when the guy chased me, i was disgusted and just wanted to be somewhere else at the time, and when i read the disgusting stuff on the internet, i can remember the unbearable disgust i felt when i READ it, just like when i experienced being chased, but now i dont feel that great disgust anymore.

ive been able to do my daily chores, homework, hobbies, taking walks etc. just fine

am i traumatized, or just humiliated?

remember, i felt the REAL disgust sometime after the events, rape, domestic violence, bullying, kidnapping etc., you feel the disgust right there, right then.


I'd say you're humiliated. I was diagnosed with PTSD following an incident a couple of years ago, and it's severely affected my daily life to the point where I find some activities that I used to be able to do with ease unbearable.