hedlo wrote:
Face to face, E is incredibly defensive, and the slightest attempt on my part to open a conversation or follow up on an issue raised is usually met with either anger or a proclamation that I am being unreasonable and that E does not have to "deal with that". I am told with regularity that I "choose" to feel angry or frustrated or ignored or hurt.
I am worn out. I must say that having him move out finally did lighten the load a considerable amount from the standpoint of my daily life. I now do not have to face the day-to-day heaviness of him in the home -- the long sighs, the eternal "I'm tired" response to any request I made for either a discussion or help in the home, the rages when I'd push for help, the mess and disorganization, the eternal disappointment and frustration of trying to reach him.
You sound like my NT husband to a great extent, and your ex-husband's reactions mirror mine when I feel my husband is being unreasonable. He doesn't really understand what it's like having AS, either. Although he's the one who likes to dump the load on me, rather than vice-versa. Some people are just like that; they expect to be cared for all their lives.
You can't be expected to know what it's like to have AS. We can describe it in a myriad of ways, but you cannot know what it's like, since you are NT. What you can do is educate yourself about AS. Talk to the doctors who dx'd your son and husband. Learn as much as you can. And hey, read here a bit; WP might help you gain a better understand of what it's like for us to live and cope in an NT world.
30 Dec 2010, 9:31 am
