Coming out to friends.

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Maybe someone's already asked about this. If so, could you please direct me to that thread?

Anyway, I want to tell my friends that I'm gay. I'm quite lucky in that I know they're all very accepting. There are a few friendly acquaintances who might not be so much, but I probably won't be telling them. If they find out, then oh well--I can live without them.

My only real problem is how to bring it up and go about telling them. It doesn't help that I'm not very good at talking about my feelings and I'm not entirely comfortable with sexuality in general. But I do still want to tell people. I kind of hope that by getting my sexuality out in the open it will make me more comfortable, I guess. Plus I just know I'll have to tell them sooner or later because at some point I might want to pursue a relationship. (I don't know if any of that information helps--I just thought it might be useful for everyone to be clear on my situation/intentions).

Also, would it be best if I tell each friend individually, or if I do it with a group of my closest friends (of whom there are three or four I have in mind). I'm leaning towards the individual route, at least for the first person (there's a couple of people who I'd think would be relatively easy to talk to about this, so one of them would be first), and then maybe have her help me tell the others.

I came out to two friends and the middle school counselor. They were all cool with it.

Try approaching everyone individually. That's what I did. Start with "This is kind of shocking/I'm a little worried with how you guys will deal with this, but I want to get it off my chest because I don't want to keep it a secret anymore." or you can start off with a topic like "Have you noticed that I get uncomfortable when you talk about boys (if your friends are all girls)/girls (if your friends are all guys?" Or start asking them questions about gay tolerance and insinuate it a little. That way, your coming out moment won't be such a shock and they can easily translation with this revelation. Hope that helps!

There are a lot of strategies.

You can pull a friend aside and tell your friend, one-on-one: "This is something important to me and I want you know...."
You can tell a group of friends all at once. You might find it easier to talk to three or four friends, rather than one on one.
You can wait for the subject to come up in converstation and just drop it in: "By the way, I'm gay."

All have their advantages and disadvantages. I suspect you will find the one-on-one easiest, at first. As you get older, and more comfortable you may also get more casual about how and when you tell people.

Thanks for the tips, guys.

I tried the "By the way, I'm gay" route with my Mom and it was extremely awkward. She just kind of paused a second and then went "Ok." Mind you, think that would have happened no matter how I said it. I guess I'll just have to get used to that.

The problem is when to talk to them individually. I don't see them much outside of school, and we're usually in a group when we're at school. I used to take the bus home with one of them most days and we'd have a lot of good conversations then, but the bus routes changed so we don't do that anymore. Too bad, to, because she's someone I know would take it really well (she is extremely liberal in that respect). Oh well... no use dwelling on what would have worked but can't.

I would consider the group approach, but we're rarely in the right sort of mood. Usually we are either all stressed about school work, or we're all in a joking sort of mood. Neither is quite what I'd want for this situation. Also, the gay tolerance line wouldn't work very well to bring this up, because we all already know that we are all very tolerant. If only I'd known (well, accepted would be the better word, probably) that I was gay last year when that issue came up...

Maybe that suggests that the best approach is to make a special point of getting together outside of school--some evening or some weekend, and make it your purpose to ensure that you have your chance to say it.

Why do you want to do it in the first place, anyway? At one point I did come out to everyone, but my life is still crappy, and since there's no point presently I don't do it. It's not like I'll suddenly get boyfriends just because of that (though enemies are more probable)...

@Mootoo:
In no particular order, here are my thoughts on your comment.
1. I know my friends are not in the least bit homophobic. They will accept me for who I am.
2. My life isn't bad right now, so it's not like I'm doing this expecting improvements.
3. I feel I should be honest with my friends about this.
4. I believe in trying to be true to myself and staying in the closet does not allow me to do that.
5. When my friends, who are mostly girls, talk about attractive guys I would kind of like to join in.
6. Those few people who I might make enemies out of I really don't care about. I am not going to hide who I am to please a few narrow-minded jerks. Who knows--maybe learning someone they know and previously respected is gay might make them re-evaluate their position. If not, then too bad for them. They can continue living their life as narrow-minded jerks.
7. I do not suddenly expect to get a boyfriend. I don't even want a boyfriend at the moment. However, if that is to change it will be a lot easier if I don't have to explain all of this to my friends then.
8. It's not as though I'll just tell any old person that I'm gay. I won't hide it, but I won't advertise it. It will just be my close friends that I'll tell, who I feel have a right to know.

On a tangential issue: should I set my Facebook info to say that I'm interested in guys? I've never had it say anything before and part of the reason I've held of changing it is because I figured that if I never advertised it when I thought I was straight then why should I advertise it now that I realize I'm gay. I will of course come out to my Dad before I do that (I've already told my Mom and have been procrastinating on telling my Dad because it's awkward to talk about, especially with my parents), and I suppose my brother as well.

Astrogeek, you seem like a nice and interesting guy. I wish I had a bf like you.

I hope it's not totally inappropriate, but I always wondered, if one is gay, are they attracted to their brother? (I always had a sister, so I wouldn't know)... are you? O.o

Thanks

And God no. Mind you, I just don't like my brother much in a platonic sense either, so that doesn't help. But he isn't someone I'd find attractive physically in any case--he's not my type. Ugh... the thought is just kind of gross

And, although I'd like to think I'm interesting, I don't know about the nice part. I suspect I can be quite grating sometimes. Most of my friends are just people who are similarly difficult so don't mind me too much. One of my best friends once said that she couldn't be nasty to someone about getting some work done because they are friends. After pausing a second she added that she can be nasty to me because we're closer friends.

coming out bi to 15 or so of my friends is a hell of alot easier than coming out as aspie to one of them, no matter how proud i am.