Ticker wrote:
JWLuke787 wrote:
Why must you be negative about it? He probably thinks the world of you because he believes you are more accepting than other women. He is probably thinking, "Wow, this girl actually treats me like a human being. Maybe she's different than the other women who ignore me or treat me like %#^&."
Hello... I don't treat him like anything... I have never talked more than 3 sentences to him and only after he started stalking me did I speak to him.
Let me explain thbe situation again...the guy was eavesdropping on a conversation I was having at work with two other people about the church I was visiting. Then he shows up and after 2 visits to the church he suddenly comes to me at work and says he overheard someone at church inviting me to the new members class and he said he has decided to join because I am.
I don't freakin know this guy. He just decided all this on his own and even said now that he goes to my church that we can hang out together and that I can come to his desk and talk to him. I don't want to talk to him. I do not know him. There is no reason for him to look up to me because I have never really held conversation with him. I am lesbian. I do not hang out with guys; I do not have sex with guys. O am over 15 yrs older than him. Am not interested!
I have stopped going to church because of this a**hole. I cannot tell him off at work because it will attract attention which will lead to an invitation to the HR office. If I tell what he has been doing he will get fired because the company is big about firing harrassers. However, where I work every time a woman has gotten a guy fired for harrassment a number of employees have turned on those women and made their life hell till they eventually felt they had to quit. I'm not willing to leave the company over some sh** temporary worker who is a stalker. I have worked there over 9 yrs. I am not letting him get me run off there.
Is he still bothering you, Ticker? He reminds me of the veterinarian I used to have for my pets. Spent the whole time he was putting my cat down staring at my chest. Dh didn't punch him out because I was too upset to notice and he didn't want to call my attention to it because I would have been more upset. Things went from bad to worse. If I tried to make appts with the other vet for my pets, this jerk would pull the file and insist on seeing them so he could see me. If by some miracle I avoided that and got in with the other vet, he'd actually open the door to the exam room and stand in there the whole time - all the while ignoring his other patients. He even started calling my house and my work! Dh had words with him and even my old vet from another city who was furious about the way he acted (they actually knew each other). The last straw for me was when stalker vet fired the other vet (an accupuncture vet) because I preferred him. When the other vet left, I left. I had to drive my pets almost an hour to a different vet. The moron continued to call and send me letters for over a year.
Some men don't get it no matter what you say or do. I attract them as well so I feel for you. For me I think I don't read the nonverbal for so long they get this idea I'm receptive or they are just predators and see me as prey because I don't read them. Either way, for me someone else always has to step in. Most of the time one run in with dh sends them off. I had a boss who could also send them on their way quickly. You might need to hire a truck full of rednecks for a case of beer. They'll know how to get the message across so he understands it. Either that or he'll be too afraid to come back.
The bad thing about restraining orders is that most predatory people know they are useless and some people see any attention, even negative attention as you being focused on them. On the other hand, the rednecks can get YOU put in jail.
I wish I could be more help.
_________________
People say I'm crazy
doing what I'm doing,
Well they give me all kinds of warnings
to save me from ruin