Thoughts on this situation please...

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I admit - the wording that sent me on the defensive in this case was 'radically distorted view'. Within my own extended family, the misperceptions of AS are called lying. And, in my experience, I can so clearly relate to my daughters misperceptions that I easily forget that other cannot. Somehow 'radical distortion' feels extremely insulting to me even though I rationally understand you do not mean it in that way. To me, these misperceptions are just logical literal interpretations of actions and words. The 'distortion' occurs when you cannot read the myriad of subtexts, emotions, and the unspoken atmosphere of a situation. People do not even realize how much they communicate with each other without ever saying a word.

The only right side here is to act on behalf of a kid who cannot do so himself. He did the right thing - he came home and explained it all to his mother. If it turns out that he did relay the situation clearly - he was put in danger by a school administrator. I'm fairly certain the bus driver is not included in her son's IEP. I think she is absolutely correct that this needs immediate addressing. The level of detail her son expressed lead me to beleive he was not simply misreading. The principle/bus/police threat was fairly specific. I can tell when my kidling is mistaken in her interpretation because her explanation sounds off in some way - something just doesn't add up correctly. Even if angry, she still sounds confused. This story just sounds shocking with clear definitive details.

I'm sorry if I came on strongly but I thought you deserved to know the reasons why. My apologies for the 'lying' assumption. It was not your word.

I know this is a very touchy subject and I am physically ill over it. I keep saying what if my son is wrong but he has given such detail and even wants me to discuss this with those involved. He wants to go to a different school. So unlike him. I will be drafting a letter that will be sent to all involved as well as the superintendent of schools. I will surely update you all when I have some information. Please keep your fingers crossed that this helps my son and all the other children in that school and does not backfire on us. Thanks so much for all the support.

I wish you the best of luck.

I am very much a devils advocate type, always wanting to make sure ALL the bases have been covered before courses are set. It doesn't mean I think a parent is wrong, just that I see something important not yet fully addressed in the conversation. If my experience has told me that factor is important, I'll repeat until I'm comfortable it has, in fact, been considered.

So, now we move on. You definitely face additional difficult hurdles and the full picture needs to get solved, not just this one thing. Advice already is written by others on that, so I'll just offer support as you gear up for battle.

One more recommendation: drop the phrase "my child does not lie" in favor of "I believe my child understood the situation accurately and fully and he does not lie."

Again thank you all so very much for your thoughts and advice on this situation. Here is the update:
After taking some time to cool down and keep my head I decided to speak with the principle about what happened. She said her goal was to explain safety to my son. He had wanted to ride in her car back to school and she said the only way he could safely get back to the school was on the bus or if she called the police. I explained to her that he was under the impression that she was going to call 911 and he would be arrested. She said she should have explained more about what she meant and that it would not be 911 that would be called because that is only for emergencies etc. I said things like this that are no well thought out cause a bad situation for children with autism. I told her she needed to speak with him and explain what happened and that she needs to take responsibility for making him feel scared. I also told her that at this point she needs to get training for herself and all the teachers in the school, as they are not educated enough to deal with children on the spectrum. I also explained how a little creativity in a teachers thought process could have stopped the problem easily and she would never have had to be called to intervene.

Good for you - sounds like you handled it well. Hopefully the principal will take your words to heart. It really was out of line for her to invoke the "police" then not explain what she meant by that. Even an NT child would have been scared to death by such a threat. I have been talking to people in our community about how to get more autism awareness training at our school. I think you are on the right track there. If teachers and other personnel are trained in alternate ways to deal with situations involving autistic children then they will be more prepared when situations arise.