Board index › Coping in life › Parents' Discussion

violent behaviour

Page 2 of 2 [ 19 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Previous topic | Next topic

Bombaloo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Mar 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,483
Location: Big Sky Country

20 Feb 2012, 11:22 am

Alien_Papa wrote:
My daughter gets violent when she's distressed. I have scars and bruises from the past week. But physical discomfort is temporary and while she's angry at me, I always know that I'm bigger and stronger than her so I've never felt scared (most posters in this forum are Moms with AS sons so I wonder how you deal with violence when they reach maturity). In a sense, lack of empathy is helpful because she can be raging at me and I don't get drawn into her extreme emotions. While there's no clear immediate benefit, i hope that I am setting an example that she will remember in the future.

While your physical discomfort may be only a temporary inconvenience for you, what about if/when she is physically violent with other people? It won't always be a situation where the person she is violent with is bigger and stronger and can "take it". This is the very real fear for many moms with AS sons who at 11 or 12 may be as big as their moms. I have this concern with my 5 yo DS right now, not that he will hurt me but that he will hurt his teacher or another child. Momsparky's "no angy touching" rule is what we are working towards at our house. I realized that I cannot allow him to get away with hitting me but expect him not to hit other people.



Alien_Papa
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Nov 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 666
Location: Minor Key

26 Feb 2012, 1:50 am

Bombaloo wrote:
Alien_Papa wrote:
My daughter gets violent when she's distressed. I have scars and bruises from the past week. But physical discomfort is temporary and while she's angry at me, I always know that I'm bigger and stronger than her so I've never felt scared (most posters in this forum are Moms with AS sons so I wonder how you deal with violence when they reach maturity). In a sense, lack of empathy is helpful because she can be raging at me and I don't get drawn into her extreme emotions. While there's no clear immediate benefit, i hope that I am setting an example that she will remember in the future.

While your physical discomfort may be only a temporary inconvenience for you, what about if/when she is physically violent with other people?.


So far that has never happened. She is a person who bottles up all her stress and only unleashes it when she feels a certain level of comfort, at home.


Bombaloo wrote:
It won't always be a situation where the person she is violent with is bigger and stronger and can "take it". This is the very real fear for many moms with AS sons who at 11 or 12 may be as big as their moms.


Yes. If I were in your position then I would be scared. Does my daughter hit me because she trusts me - even though she's enraged, she's made a rational calculation that I wont hurt her? Would a son hold back from hurting his Mom because he makes a rational calculation that he still needs her? I'm not in a position to answer that.



blondeambition
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Oct 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 718
Location: Austin, Texas

26 Feb 2012, 1:26 pm

http://www.freevideosforautistickids.com/Therapy.html

Above is a link to information on different therapies from my free website. I would review the sections on "behavior therapy," "medication," and "comorbid conditions," in particular. I think that for violent behavior that does not respond to discipline by the parent, a combination of professional behavior therapy and medication is often most effective. I would recommend seeing an ABA therapist or psychologist for behavior therapy and a pediatric neurologist or child psychiatrist for medication.

Basically, the material for parents is on the left sidebar of my website, and videos for kids and teens to watch themselves is on the right.

There are links to thousands of clips featuring doctors, professors, teachers, charitable organizations, children's cartoons, etc., providing free education to the public on ASD, social skills, occupational skills, speech, reading, grammar, writing, math, and much more.


_________________
www.freevideosforautistickids.com is my website with hundreds of links and thousands of educational videos for kids, parents and educators. Son with high-functioning classic autism, aged 7, and son with OCD/Aspergers, aged 4. I love my boys!