40+ Something L&D- Deciphering What Your Date Says (5/10

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The purpose of this thread is to open up discussions among 40+ something WP members about “the how to decipher/translate what your match is/is not telling you” (figuring out what the heck they actually mean – probably the biggest challenge of all)!

Cross-posting is great.

"Let's just be friends."
He: "You're threatening my independence."
She: "Let's keep our relationship on a superficially friendly level, and see each other only in public."

"You're too nice."
He: "You are not putting out for me."
She: "I think you are gay."

"This doesn't feel right."
He: "I'm already in a relationship, and I'm afraid to be seen with you."
She: "I have unresolved issues from previous relationships."

"I love you."
He: "Let's have sex (again)."
She: "I own you now."

"You are special to me."
He: "I took a shower, shaved, brushed my teeth, and changed my clothes before coming over."
She: "I'm about to utter some more sentimental words and phrases. Please try to pay attention."

"I wrote a poem for you."
He: "I'm trying to impress you with what passes for my sentimental side, so please don't laugh."
She: "I'm about to utter a seemingly endless series of unrelated words and phrases. Please try to pay attention."

"Don't cry."
He: "Ohmigawd, what the f*&^%#@ did I do? What the f*&^%#@ am I going to do? PLEASE STOP!"
She: "Seriously, don't cry. It makes you look like a totally emasculated wuss."

"Do you think she's cute?"
He: "I think she's cute."
She: "Please say something that reaffirms my self-esteem, even if it to only point out how fat she looks."

"Will you go out with me?"
He: "Please?"
She: "Hypothetically speaking, if I were to seriously ask you to go out with me, would you consider it?"

"Sorry I'm late."
He: "I know that I'm late and I hope you won't hold it against me."
She: "Tell me that I'm worth the wait, or I'll act cold and distant until you do."

"I'm sorry."
He: "Please stop being angry with me."
She: "Please don't become angry with me."

Between my natural tendencies as an aspie, (only recently discovered), and my participation in several major things the board rules prevent me from discussing here, I tend to be pretty direct. And I tend to encourage the people around me to be so as well.

So basically, I tend to take people at face value, or their word. In the situations where I won't, or can't do that, then...

a) the relationship has some serious trust issues anyway and
b) I'll generally keep those things to myself for a while until they resolve more.

If someone isn't clear, then I ask. In several communities in which I travel, that's considered good form and there are community values for helping each other be more forthcoming and direct in their communications anyway.