25 Aug 2012, 9:08 pm
Well it took me about 7 years, starting in 2000. I went to Bible college (CIU) in South Carolina for 1.5 years studying Theology then with the whole bi-polar and asperger thing I wasn't aware of I just couldn't take it there anymore, relationships became awkward and the place became uncomfortable. Then I did a few semesters at my hometown community college to get cheap credits. Then I went to Western Carolina University for about 2 years studying Criminal Justice and Psychology until I wrecked my car into a telephone pole and went down a small cliff into a tree. And I was so frustrated that I couldn't fit in with anyone or any group. I would have to drink just to force myself to go to these parties and still I was awkward (the coke didn't help much either). So then I came back home and cleaned myself up, got back into church and finished my last 1.5 years left online at Liberty University. Graduated with a 3.7GPA in Psychology, Religion, and Criminal Justice. When I got back home I decided it would be ok to get some champagne and wine. Well it turns out the anti-anxiety med I was on doesn't go to well with a few bottles of wine. I went to sleep. I woke up in jail. I basically slept/drunk walked in my boxers outside of the house then realized I was outside and decided to go back home. So I walk up to the house and try to open the glass sliding door then a man appears with a shotgun. I am very confused why this man with a shotgun is inside my parents house and I'm out here drunk in my boxers just trying to get back to bed. So I do what I thought was rational at the time and threw a lawn chair through the glass door. He shouted and claimed he almost pulled the trigger later on. So then I ran through the woods for a few hours. Finally made it home then went to bed. Then the police came and "College Grad with Honors arrested drunk in his boxers trying to break into houses" on the 6 and 10 o'clock news. 5 years and they still haven't taken that story off their website. The local news decided to say that I was trying to target the elderly to steal their pills, they deduced that because the people were old. I mean who burglars or robs in their underwear? I paid for the broken window and they eventually figured out what and why that happened so I finally got out of jail and had 6 months of intense probation (8pm curfew, they come to your house 4-5 nights a week to check, and check that you haven't been drinking), then regular probation for a few years.
That Criminal Justice degree really paid off huh?
I don't drink anymore and I am a Christian. I just have about 20 stories just like this. It has been so hard being a Christian having Aspergers and bi-polar not knowing what is wrong with you until you are 29!
I've asked everyone I could think of I have ever offended or hurt and apologized or made it right in the last year or two. I'm not proud of the very very bad things I have done in my life. So sometimes it's nice just to tell someone a small piece of my life and laugh about it so it doesn't hurt so much. I still have a very hard time with guilt with all the things I have done the past 15 years. Do I blame Aspergers and Bi-Polar? No? Yes? I guess they were aggravating factors but still at the core I was and am at fault. I would have no hope without Jesus Christ who is the only One who takes the guilt and weight of all that away. Amazing to be set free after being like a caged animal for 28-29 years.
I'm going to go now. Thanks for reading 
