a dx is a good idea but at the same time, if you've done the research and your almost 100% sure, you know yourself as well as a doctor, and since theres no blood test or anything like that, its just behavior and thought processes, I wouldn't put any special value on a dx for yourself. Not saying don't get one, especially since a doctor can help you, its just that my personal experience with psychiatrists is that they didn't help me much since I think I understand myself pretty well. I was diagnosed when I was younger, but being diagnosed doesn't make you have it. All it means is that a doctor agrees with you (you having looked into it and decided you have it). But do what you think is best, a lot of people find a sense of relief because they don't feel comfortable until they know from an authoritative source.
As for books and resources, I have only read one full book on it, and I dont reccomend it. Don't remember the author, but the book was called "solutions for adults with aspergers". Its entire focus was "here is how people with AS inconvenience NTs and here is how to stop hurting them". I don't know how many other books out there are like that, but I've seen a documentary like it, so be wary of resources written by NTs with a complete "others" focused approach.