Should I tell him?

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The man I love is in his late 40's. He has a very negative opinion of himself
and thinks it's because he's weird, strange, wrong, too different.
He never has had many friends and romantic relationships have ended
unexpectedly for him.
I'm pretty sure he's AS.
I wish there was a way to explain to him in a way that makes sense
and that he doesn't take badly.

When I learned about ADD it was like I found a definition of my life
and it was comforting really.
I want this for him.
Does anyone have any suggestions?

My suggestion would be to talk to a professional before you decide that you or someone else has anything like that. While ADD/ADHD are diagnosed in so many different ways by so many different practitioners that it can be fairly common for a parent to say "Oh, my kid has that" and he's treated for it, I would seriously get professional advice before you tell someone else that you believe they have something whether it is organic or psychological. There really is more to it than just being bad at being social. I'm good at being social because I learned to be and it was hard to learn it, but I did. I am diagnosed by a professional. My social interactions wouldn't make someone talk to me and think "Aspie!" There are aspies that are social and there are NT's that aren't social and who are very shy and awkward. You would feel really bad it you told him he had AS because of all these negative traits and he went and got tested and he didn't have it. Then he's just stuck with them for no reason, and in his late 40's at that!

I was dx'd in my 40s and it changed nothing. All it did was allow me to understand myself a little better and to sometimes make arrangements for myself that are different from what I would normally do, because now I understand why I have some of the problems that I do. I don't try to write it off as something else, and if I truly can't deal with the situation I don't beat myself up over leaving it. That's about the only difference for me.

If you want to talk to him about it, bring it up in conversation. It's autism month so find some article that talks about it and be reading it. Say something like "Huh, listen to this...." and read him a little and start a conversation about it like it has nothing to do with either of you. Talk about it like you would anything else interesting you read about. Whatever you do, don't say "I just read some stuff and you have Asperger Syndrome!" and expect him to buy that.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

I really think you should sneak it in. Articles will be easy to find this month and seem interested in them and have one nearby and bring it up some. Maybe have the idea of it out there for a bit so it doesn't sound as odd to him to think that he might have it. Sneak it in on him and see if he comes to the conclusion by himself, if not then suggest that he might have "something like that" and see if he will go get it checked out.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com