Hi everyone. My name is Steve, I am 35 years old.
I have not been officially diagnosed with AS, but I strongly suspect I have it. I have so many of the symptoms and I have scored fairly high on numerous online tests. It didn't dawn on me until recently that there was a way to quantify what I had been through my whole life. I thought I was just bizarre, and that was that. I felt alone all the time. Misunderstood by everyone, even my own parents.
My gf, mom, and I went to dinner about a year ago, and my mom was telling stories about how good I was with maps when I was younger, and I would describe in road-to-road detail not only where we went on a school field trip, but how we got there. At the time, my mom knew I was going to a skating rink for a field trip, but didn't know the name of the place. Afterwards, my gf suggested that I may be somewhere on the autism spectrum. I still am fascinated by maps; I've had marathon sessions just looking at Google Earth!
A few months later, I got to know someone who (according to someone else) also has AS, or is suspected of having it. As I got to know this person, she was consistent with some of the traits of AS. A little more time went by and I felt a bond with this person, and the more I thought about it, the more my actions were consistent with AS. So I began researching it, then began watching YouTube videos about it, reading books, etc. Then I found this place.
A few of my quirks:
-I've always sought solitude and didn't know why. I went through a depressive spell over a year ago where it dawned on me I had run off just about every friend I ever had. After determining the common denominator was me, I began to seriously look within myself.
-Social development and anxiety: I've always had a hard time making friends, and maintaining friendships was even worse.
-Watching the same few movies many times and becoming fascinated with lines and different roles. A few of my favorites from back in the day were "Throw Momma From The Train" and "What About Bob."
-Clumsiness: I was never good at sports when I was a kid, was usually the last one picked. Was frequently humiliated on the playground in 7th grade, for instance.
-Hard time recognizing jokes from reality. This is especially true with people I don't know well.
-Seeking of a fantasy world: I don't ever act this out in real life, but I do frequently lay in bed at night thinking about myself in an alternate reality, which actually helps me sleep. The fantasy seems soothing to me, I guess. During the day I think about it a lot too.
I have quite a few others, but those stick out. I hope I haven't bored you all with that breakdown, but I wanted to provide insight on what's been going on in my head. I do feel relief in figuring out what I have figured out, because it gives me something to work on.
I'm glad I found this place, and I'm looking forward to participating here.
--Steve
10 May 2013, 7:44 pm
