curfew at age 14 ( among other things) RANT

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I'm so mad I'm shaking right now! 12:00 is not the right bedtime for me at age fourteen during the summer! NONE else has this lame#@! curfew! I sick and tured of this! I HATE THIS! I want a normal curfew like everyone else! I just wind up sitting in my room upset with a major headache! my computer is where I write and relaxe! and unlike sSOME Damn people I actually get up early no matter what time I go to bed! and my damn rat brother stays up until five in the morning and then sleeps until four o'clock in the afternoon and they don't give a crap! I'm sick and tired of this! I can't get anything done or do what I want, and the night is when I most active! and no one ever listens to me! and THIS IS SUMMER! it's not like there are classes to go to or anything! it's not like i have to get up early in the morning! I really could't give a flying rat what time they have to get up or not! I WANT A NORMAL BEDTIME! I am not some luittle kid! I know ten Year olds who have later bedtimes then this, and during the school year too! The summer is my getaway! I Am NOT GOING TO BED AND SITTING AROUND WITH A HEADACHE DOING NOTHING! or I wind up ru ning around with a bug catcher catching moths! and everytime I find something intersting on the computer their complaining and yelling at me to get to bed! and like yesterday I was relaxing and drawing a picture and my dumb%$#@ stepdad comes down and demands what time I'm going to bed! Like I know! how should I know how long it will take to finish the picture? I can't stop and then continue it tomorrow! I can understand this during the school year, but this is NOT THER SCCHOOL YEAR! THIS IS MY SUMMER! and I had just found out somethings about weightloss wich I need because I'm so Bloody fat! and I fel like no one is getting it about that either! I'm way over weight and I don't feel good about myself at all! I don't see anyone amking an effort to help me excerise( My stupid mother got sick and won't so it!) or eat right! were eating the same crappy food as before! no one is doing anything i've asked, and I'm never going to lose weight! I'm tired of weighing 214 pounds! i feel totally horrible about myself and these damn rules aren't helping! I feel sad and sick, and angry! I just want to go away forever! and I just wind up crying because of all this! and I wish my Grammy Hadn't died! and everything makes me feelso sad! and I'm tired of my mom and stepdad pointing out that other people have their problems, and won't admit them, when they have their fait share and THEY won't admit them! I just want to go back in time to a more happy place and time when I had fun and no worries. I'm Really frustrated and now I have a ehadache! great! just what I need! now I'm going to wind up being up even later! I feel horribel about myslef! and Have realloy low self esteem right now, and I just want to curl up in a ball and hide.

awww Shades of me...I am not sure what to say...

I have a 14 year old daughter who lived with me til she was 13.

From your posts I actually thought you were older Shades of Me. I was suprised to know you are 14.

I know what you mean about not stopping a picture in the middle of it. This creativity needs its freedom. I can understand you wanting to get the most out of your Summer holidays.

I am sorry that you are feeling so upset. I hope that you headache goes away for you.

This what I tell my daughter when she is so upset...
...breathe to your belly 'squid'...breathe to your belly...

If i'm on a computer at 12 pm now I'd lose my head, and i'm 20.

12:00 is late enough for a 14 year old if I had one.

sorry but it really annoys me that you're throwing a sh*t about only being allowed on a computer until 12pm, it's like a rich person saying in a poor persons face, "omg, i'm so broke!"

when I was 14 my parents would kill me if I was on a computer past 9pm.

Hope you get over it. Good luck.

i feel better now! thanks for 'listening'. heheh. i'm off to pet the dog, or something. I'm think of taking up spiining dog yarn...i'm gonna go collect.

Yikes! Err... as much as I'm a fan of late nights... My kid brother is 10 years old, and mum does her best to get him to bed between 7:30 and 8:00... except that some nights he has gym so he gets home a bit later and gets to bed before 9:00. 12:00 sounds PLENTY late for someone your age, although I do feel the need to ask whether that is your lights out time or your going to bed and being allowed to read time?

i'm obsessing over that cute cat. oh. I can't sleep wit te lights off. so I guess I go to bed ORread. i dunno... maybe i'm just crazy...

Hehe, why thankyou! And if you can read in bed then girl, you got it good! Honestly... your parents probably just don't want you getting square eyes! *hugs*

It's been a long time since I was 14(I'm 37 now), but those years were very difficult for me too. I lived in a city where there was an 11PM curfew for persons under age 18, and it was enforced. I couldn't just go out just to go out. If I was going anywhere, I always got the riot act of who/what/when/where etc. I had to practically provide a schedule of the evening's events, and couldn't just go with a group of kids, there had to be a parent or guardian present. I also had to stick to the schedule, such as if the movie ends at 9PM(and my parents would check), be home by 9:30PM.

Even going out in the daytime was a big taboo in my house. My parents ran hot and cold on that subject, sometimes we were allowed out to ride bicycles and the like, other times, we were kept indoors. Sometimes these things bothered me, other times they didn't, I just did the best I could.

One thing you mentioned in your post is how you are treated differently than your brother as opposed to sleep schedule. Double standards always have and always will drive me up the wall. I suffered alot of them in terms of me and my sister when we were growing up. My sister got away with all sorts of things and they always protected her, while I was often "thrown to the wolves." It was like she could do no wrong and I could do no right.

The summer I was 14 was the worst summer of my childhood. My parents had a few years before, become obsessed with the idea that I learn to swim and learn to love it. Their method to acheive this was to mandate everytime my sister swam that I drop whatever I was doing and go swim too. This had gone on the last 3 summers and I still wasn't interested in swimming.

This summer, they decided to "punish" me for some offense they never made quite clear. Sometimes, they'd say I was being punished for bringing home C grades. Another time, for "acting goofy"(which was never explained) and another time, for not finishing a test and another time, being rejected(by one teacher out of 6) for a gifted program. They could never get their story straight. My 3 month long punishment was no going out of the house, no listening to the radio or music, no watching TV, no contact with other people, no reading other than swimming books, nothing but sitting around waiting to be told by my sister it was time to go swimming. I knew it was a scam from the beginning, especially after my dad used the phrase "You're not going to be in that room listening to that rock music, you're going to get in that pool everyday and build yourself up to where you're a human being again."

I can honestly say I felt like I was living in a cult and being brainwashed, indoctrinated day in and day out with messages about how perfect my sister was, how I had no personality, and how I had better learn to love swimming and not want to do anything else. Whatever they were trying to teach me didn't work and didn't have a chance after dad's swimming comment. The only real escape I had was reading old magazines or listening to music at 4AM on headphones when everyone else was asleep. These clandestine activities help me keep myself sane during this difficult time.

I have never forgiven them for this, nor have I forgiven my sister for all the times she took advantage of the situation. I now live in another place, where I am away from them, so now I get some peace.

I wish I some advice for you. It seems like your parents are like mine and have decided, at least for now, not to listen to you. Try to do the best you can and perhaps find a way to work within the system until things get better.

Good luck.

That's AWFUL! *hugs*

I suggest you try to get sympathy from your parents and allow you to break the rules occasionally. Because unfortunately the world of adults is currently run by the insane, and it will continue to be run by that class for the foreseable future, so you gotta learn how to cope and deal and get around it.

If you ask me the world of kids is run by the insane.

All I can say is be glad that at your age you got a curfew of 12, I had like a curfew of 8-9pm at that age... I had a curfew of 10pm at age 19 (legally adult at 18). Honestly my belief as a parent now is that kids shouldn't be let out that late period even during summer, you end up as a teen more open to problems that one shouldn't get into if one is not careful at nights. Unfortunately going out now at nights is nowhere near as safe as it was 30+ years ago or so and parents letting their kids run over them is why we end up having so many problems. That's just my opinion honestly. My parents curfew on me saved me from getting into situations that I was no way ready to handle but even then it didn't save me from doing a lot of stupid things due to being naive and following peer pressure to try and fit in.

there is no world of kids. It isn't run by anyone. Adults monopolize the power from the begining. There is no time to develop rules or structure. Although i am well aware of age related culutre.

I have a 14yo daughter. And a 20yo son.

There is an 11pm curfew in our town for those under age 18. So being outside past that time is not even as issue here. Needless to say, my 14yo daughter would sit up all night on the computer, too, if I allowed her. Which I don't. Computer is off by 9pm during the school year and 10:30pm during the summer. She MAY sit up and read/draw/write in her room all night, if she so desires, as long as she gets up by 9am in the morning (7am school days). All my kids have had that privilege since they were able to read.

My 20yo son sets his own schedule. But it's because he has graduated from school, is working and is paying all his own bills (including rent). He works nights, sleeps days, and plays online RPGs in his room all night long when he doesn't work. But it is a far different situation now than when he was 14!

I was way too shy to go out at night when I was 14 or even older but sometimes I used to listen to the radio in my room till quite late (no computers in those days unless you were really rich).

I'd be annoyed/angered/frustrated if told to turn off the computer when halfway through a drawing because the inspiration is there at that time and might not be there at another time. In fact, you can almost guarantee it won't be.

Re: the swimming - I feel so sorry for this person. Ugh! swimming lessons - how horrible! I still can't swim and can't see it as such a big problem since it is often the good swimmers who get drowned because they take more risks and go places which others of us would steer clear of.

I can't understand how some parents have got the energy to be such control freaks and obssessively control every little aspect of their kids' lives to that extent. I'm not against having rules but it's better to just concentrate on having a few important rules and that's it.