Undiagnosed Autism and Explaining to Others

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I was diagnosed back in April at the age of 50. At the time, I was a big proponent of getting officially diagnosed. Now, I am not so certain. Based upon what I have read on WP (in terms of what others have reported regarding their diagnostic process), the process seems highly subjective. I occasionally even question the validity of my own diagnosis (which contained fairly thorough neurological testing). Then again, I’m an avid skeptic.



I have told a few people about my diagnosis. Other than some family members, who had varying levels of expertise in the mental health profession, no one really cared. Maybe that’s me (and my lack of social connections). But, I don’t believe anyone cares. Particularly, if you intend to use it as an excuse to explain behavior. As my wife constantly tells me, no one is normal.

You could do a private-pay diagnosis (i.e. paying out of pocket and not using your insurance). This way, the diagnosis is between you and the Psychologist (or whoever does the diagnosis).

Do you want people to think of you as disabled? There is nothing wrong with telling the people you know but keep in mind that it doesn't mean the same thing to them as it does to you. For you finding out about your own AS is a powerful and deeply personal epiphany but it's not really that interesting to anybody else.

I have thought about that. I really have to determine wether the benefits would outweigh the costs. I am really not sure that it would give me anything more than peace of mind.

I don't explain myself to others. Those I have invested time and effort into, care for me and I am there for them also. Others notice that I am different and begin to inquire ever so slightly. I can sense what they are thinking and see it their eyes. I have no problem appearing different, and I know that I am very different. I understand that I have an awareness light years beyond the others. I use to wonder why others didn't use their brains, or question why it took so much time for them to "get it", but now I realize how intelligent I am and that they cannot comprehend the concepts I put forth or understand some of my behaviors. That's okay.

I have good things to offer, even if I prefer to be alone or don't speak often. Once I create my comfort zone, I am good. I have learned to love myself and appreciate my gifts. I try to smile. Alot. People like that and it seems to help them feel at ease. Also, when I touch someone, shake hands, I am immersed in who they are for a few seconds. So you can say that I have an advantage. And I do. But I do not explain myself to others. You get me or you don't. Also, it isn't always about me. I get that.

Don't let others define you. Only some of those others may be worthwhile individuals.

----- and what could be better?

Even with an official diagnosis, no one really understands. Being an autistic adult is something so far outside the neurotypical world that it's unthinkable.

Either give the notion up, or seek a diagnosis and join the fight for a world that has room for us. After all, it's autistics who've provided most of human advancement.

I wouldn't say anything until I was officially diagnosed.

I realized I had Aspergers about a year ago, I was just diagnosed in June of this year

I did share my epiphany with my family. I tried sharing it with the one friend I had at the time, prior to my evaluation, which lead to her telling me all the things I do that meant I couldn't possibly have it. I realized then, that even after I was diagnosed I would probably not share it with too many people. The only time I really share it is when I am advocating. I have a son on the spectrum and have been hot and heavy into advocacy for a while. Having an official diagnosis strengthened me as an advocate. I am able to speak as an autistic adult and not just a parent.
I have found when I share my autism diagnosis with people that are not familiar with autism at all, they tend to "normalize" things. You know "OH I do that too. Does that mean I have autism?". I'm use to it though, because those types of things use to be said when I would share something about my son.

Getting officially diagnosed can be very empowering on a personal level and I do encourage you to do so.