Job Causing Depression

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What do you do when your job just makes you want to cry or kill yourself. The past few weeks my job has been driving me into a bad place in my head and I'm having trouble dealing with it. If it wasn't for my fiancee I don't know what I would do. The past weeks have only been full of stress and people telling me I'm f*****g up. I need the job/money to pay off school debts so I can't quit. Please give me some advice.

Try some time to yourself. My method of time to myself is a spiritual outlet. I read through the bible myself and use prayer. It might not be for you, but if you can find an outlet in the time you spend alone to help keep you centred, it would be my best recommendation.

Look for a different job.

Do both of the above. And write down anything good about yourself that people have said to you, or that you remember you doing. Keep that in a notebook and reread that. That is who you are, not your current job and not the negative stuff.

Don't panic, avoid the persons/things that are causing you this problem as best you can whilst you're at work. Get a tougher skin too, learn to put up with it and be happy being in survival mode, ie having a job for the sake of having a job. Look for another job but with a positive outlook towards it, you're doing it for betterment, not to get away from your sh***y job. Make sure you do this so you don't crash and burn.

I've been looking for a new job for awhile now. That's a given. I cannot avoid the person who's an ass to me because it's literally the only person that I'm required to talk to on a daily basis. I work with a consulting firm and the person is my direct contact with the client.

I can't meditate. I've tried many many times, mostly during my college years. One month I spent a few hours every night trying to medidtate. I don't have the ability to calm my mind and stop it from thinking. Even if I just try to focus on my breathing some weird stuff happens. Eg. The air I am breathing in turns to blue in my mind and then I begin to think of water or fishing or something of the sort and it goes off from there. I pull it back and it happens all over again. I may have the ADD.

My problem isn't so much that I hate my job. It's that my job isn't what I signed up for. I have a degree in computer security. I signed on to the company I work for as a software testing analyst. They put me in a business role dealing directly with a client in insurance. I'm not good at it and it stresses me out. I also don't have enough interest to be able to focus on it and become good at it, thus more stress.

Skcuf, I know I don't have solutions. But I can understand your situation and have empathy here in writing on wrongplanet. I was in a job two years ago where the day to day was NOTHING like the posting. The chaos for me, the depression, the daily backstabbing, the workplace two faced staff people whom I do not now blame, the lack of understanding on my part, being an undiagnosed Aspie... these all lead to a highly stressful feeling, multiple nightmares, and a genuinely difficult time period.

Keep your strengths in mind. Keep those whom you love and who love you in mind. Do your best to get through the day and remind yourself that it is just a job, and that when a better one comes a long, you will try out for it and take it.