Just summoned up the courage...

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hello all. wondering why i'm feeling so anxious about doing this... oh, of course i would, so i'll just get on with it.

am waiting for a diagnosis (and not holding my breath). have worked with children with emotional and behaviour difficulties (including AS) for years, and had a fair bit of training in AS. then, a couple of years ago, started a relationship with a man who i'm convinced has AS, and so have spent the best part of the past two years researching AS in adults, and all of a sudden, my life started to make sense - i've always been described as "ridiculously intelligent and eccentric", a description i like, so i've made it a lifestyle choice (like the bit on the escalator in the trailer for "mozart & the whale"). not too pleased with the difficulty i have with other people, though, but knowing "why" has always helped me, so a diagnosis would be useful - i could stop beating myself up for getting things wrong, for a start.

am 42 (the answer to life, the universe and everything) and, being a capricorn, love it, although i've noticed that many of you are a lot younger (but... hi, cindy, and hope your paper crown's got loads of sparkle on it).
am a passionate musician - 9 instruments, mainly voice - and read at least five books a week (no t.v., thank god). started off as a scientist, did acting, singing and stand-up comedy, then teaching, and am now doing various things, but don't do "conventional".

most people would say i'm good at other people (if only they knew...), but i have always been fascinated by people, behavioural psychology and how and why people think and behave as they do, so i'm good at understanding people (professionally, that is - socially and personally is another story).

i'm definitely a verbose person, which is why some of the above may be a little disjointed - i've tried to be brief (for me). but will gladly carry on, if encouraged...

how to finish...? oh yes - bye!

Last edited by vetivert on 25 Mar 2006, 4:25 pm, edited 2 times in total.

wow you sound interesting...

there are a lot of young 'uns on this site so more members with some life experience would help the balance I reckon (I'm 28 and seem to be one of the older Aspies with a few exceptions)... I want to start writing but never quite seem to get started as I always get bogged down in the details lol. It's probably just as well you aren't holding your breath for a dx, it took 18 months for me to convince the local trust (airedale) there was a point in getting one, it all boils down to money at the end of the day... please keep posting, I tend towards the verbose also (a desire for clarity and making sure I haven't missed anything out I think...) but your compound sentences are even longer than mine

dunc

erm... thank you (not great at compliments).

details are definitely us, as far as writing is concerned. i've sort of trained myself to just write and then go back and edit, which seems to be the whole point of creative writing - re-writing, that is. what sort of stuff do you write?

what does "lol" mean? i thought it was "lots of love", but that isn't right, is it? not fantastic at cyber language, and have a real horror of emoticons, although i can see how useful they might be in preventing misunderstandings.

my doctor referred me straight away (although he doesn't think i have AS - i've got emotions and awareness, apparently - well i would have, being in my job. i didn't want to tell him i probably know far more about it than he, but it's tempting when you feel patronised, isn't it?). apparently, there's no-one in the whole of the county who does adult AS diagnosis (and yes, i do think it's right that kids get priority, although it does rankle a little - self-centred as a gyroscope, most of the time). the NAS helpline says i can be assessed if i get a private referral, but i'd rather not re-mortgage the house to pay for one, thanks. the psychiatric service is pants anyway - i know from professional experience.

i've read your message about being "blog-banned" for dodgy language, and laughed like a drain - you sounded just like a naughty schoolkid (laughed with rather that at you, i hasten to add).

so much to say, so many people to talk at (evil smiley face here, if you like). here's a quotation i have on a fridge magnet (sad, but true):

"variety is the spice of life: one day ignore people; the next day, annoy them."

and maybe one day i'll grow up...

v

Last edited by vetivert on 07 Dec 2005, 4:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

he he naughty schoolkid, that's me... growing up doesn't seem to be an option for me, being a parent seems to have made me worse if anything.

online abbreviations that you might find useful:
lol - laughing out loud
rofl - rolling on floor laughing (and lmao/roflmao - laughing my as* off)
im(h)o - in my (humble) opinion
brb - be right back

I don't mind online language, and emoticons for me are most useful if they have a key like the ones on these forums - help to soften an argument or express humour/irritation in my case, but I tend to use the same few just to make it clear that I am kidding mostly... having said which people who use 'txt msg' speak (or fluent cretin to the literate) irritate the hell out of me - my sister is one (quote 'ow r u bruv we r gr8 cu l8r' - wtf? I won't translate that last acronym on a family friendly forum in light of previous posts but I'm sure you can guess...

I used to write humorous/ satirical short stories but can't seem to focus long enough to get a flow going lately. An old friend who I used to collaborate with on creative stuff has moved back to west yorks, so hopefully we can spark some writing/music er, muse again...

on the subject of diagnosis, it seems so obvious to us it is difficult to see why there are so few people experienced enough to diagnose AS. Airedale too has no one able to do it but after arguing the toss I was eventually able to see Dr Shripati Upadhyaya in Bradford (he started SACAR trust, a charity/support organisation for Aspies and their families) and have now been assessed. I assume the reason it is so hard to get a diagnosis on the NHS is that once diagnosed, they have no budget for adult support services suitable for high functioning autistic people, as we don't fit conventional mental health (the C.P. I was initially referred to basically told me my problems were all my fault and I should just learn to deal with it, and couldn't tell autism from chickenpox....!) or learning disabled criteria... leading to a circular justification for refusing to fund a diagnosis grrr.

have started rambling pointlessly now so I'll shut up.

dunc

if pointless rambling = shutting up, maybe i'll just have my gob removed...

anyway... "fluent cretin" - lmao, i believe - it's brilliant. (thanks for those - perhaps i'm just an old crumbly, and don't understand all this yoof stuff. not that i care if i am). perhaps we should invent a few utterly pointless and meaningless acronyms, and confuse the poo out of everyone. ("poo"? why do i feel like a Blue Peter presenter?)

and "wtf" means, "why, that's funny", doesn't it? or (gasps in shock), NOT that rude F-word, surely?! ! sarcastic? me? always.

want a motive to write? send me a short story and i'll do a crit of it - warning, i'm brutal, but then it's pointless to be fulsome in one's praise if it's not justified, 'cos that doesn't help anybody.

was reading maria's thread about meaning in life - it's difficult to hear that people feel like that. makes me want to put on my counselling/therapist hat and wade in, but i know better (i hope). i love the irony of being an aspie who does counselling and therapy stuff, don't you? although a programme on Radio 4 (thank all known deities for Radio 4) says that empathy gets in the way of "good" counselling. just as well - i have the empathy of a house brick.

carry on rambling - you're very readable, and you make me laugh. tell me more about your musical adventures (not that i'm obsessed with music, or anything...).

V

thanks for the offer - I usually need a challenge to get my head out from, erm, under my arm (GMHOFUMA?) so I'll get cracking with that I think

the pointless acronyms are a great idea, they make it much easier to express yourself colourfully without causing offence...

some aspie-friendly suggestions:

WWISB?OY... - what was I saying before? oh yeh...
IMOWIHAESTEITF - in my opinion which I have already expressed several times elsewhere in this forum

anyone else have any ideas? pointless and confusing thread coming up...

I know what you mean regarding people getting so totally brassed off with being this way that they can't see the positives, I find it hard to react to that appropriately, it just saddens me to see people so down.

musical adventures few and far between since I lost touch with my mate, in terms of actually making any rather than reviewing/cataloguing/ obsessing over/compiling/ arguing about music...

dunc

"my arm"? my foot!

aspie acronyms (a.k.a., AA's?):-
this one's from personal experience: OITSISTHBYIAC - oh, i'm terribly sorry - i seem to have bored you into a coma.

or: IMBJTSROMOTYBIFTM - it may be just the square root of minus one to you, but it's fascinating to me.

or even: HCYCCWGIOPF?UIYAM - how come you can't communicate without goggling into other people's faces? unhygenic, if you ask me.

enough, woman.

i get totally brassed off - can't count the times i sit weeping into a (small) glass of wine 'cos i'm so lonely. i know how hard it is for me to meet people etc., etc., but at least i know what i have to do - if the answer to my constant "why?" = AS, then i can make a cunning plan. i'd rather know than not know, 'cos if you know where you are in relation to things, you can choose a direction to move in (or, of course, know exactly WHERE you're sitting in heap like a jelly in a cardigan and twiddling your foot and staring at the wall).

and can ANYONE tell me what's wrong with obsessing about music? i doubt i'd believe them. unless it's mozart, who is frankly pants.

V.

PMSL (similar to LMAO) - brilliant...

don't get me started on pants music (see post 'AS and music') but I for one can't think of anything better to be obsessed with.

dunc