Page 1 of 1 [ 9 posts ] 

cowlypso
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 5 May 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 203
Location: The Black Hole Commonly Known As Grad School

05 May 2007, 11:55 pm

So I'm starting here, just like the instructions say to.

I'm a grad student working on my PhD in anthropology, although I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I finally graduate, whenever that might be.

I was officially diagnosed early this year. It literally took only 2 meetings with a person who knew what they were looking at (and she probably knew it at the first meeting). I started to complain about having social issues, and she asked if anybody had ever mentioned AS to me before. Well, in my 16 years of exposure to the mental health field, it had never come up (although I'd been diagnosed with ADD, ADHD, depression, dysthymia, boderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety disorder... and I'm probably missing a few). So she told me to go home and read up on it and let her know what I thought. Wow! Suddenly, everything made sense. Even going back through family histories and such taken by previous shrinks, the symptoms are all there. I bet I could sue the one doctor for negligence in missing the diagnosis, because her report all but screams AS. Anyway, I digress.

Even in preschool, my mother made comments that the other kids didn't want to play with me because I told them that they weren't doing it right. I was always a toe-walker. I remember my mom's nurse friend correcting me for toe-walking all the time when I was young. I still do it. Children ask me why I walk funny. And the history builds from there. Poor eye-contact, failure to give elaborate, emotional answers unless directly prompted, flat affect. Inability to make friends, horribly bullied. Oversensitive to visual, auditory, and tactile stimulation (I wouldn't wear a wool sweater until college, and I still won't wear turtlenecks). Literal interpretation of just about everything, along with neologisms, and always slow to get the joke.

I have three cats, all boys, all black and white tuxes. They try to keep me sane, and occassionally it works. I mostly bury myself in my work and pretend that I like my life the way it is. And I suppose I do like a lot of things about my life. My main issues that are really causing me grief right now are overstimulation in all sorts of settings (visual and auditory, mostly). It's getting in the way of buying groceries, band practice, getting work done, and my sanity.

I'm at the stage where I'm so happy to finally have a correct diagnosis and a name for everything and an explanation for why I am the way I am. But that also means that things aren't going to change, and they probably aren't going to get a lot better. At least with a diagnosis of depression, I could hope that once I was less depressed, I might have more friends and be able to shop by myself without losing my mind. But now I know that things aren't going to change, and I worry about whether I will spend my whole life alone.

So this is me. Diagnosed with AS at age 26. Slightly depressed as I come down from the elation of finally getting a diagnosis and sink into the reality that it's permanent. I guess if it's not going to go away, I need to learn how to live with it. Which is why I'm here.

Oh, and I'll probably complain about my mother, too. She asks me the most ridiculous questions. Like the other day I told her I was driving my friend to the airport. She asked me, "Why does she need to go to the airport?" And then my mom was confused when I answered, "Because she has a flight to catch." :roll: Apparently, what she really wanted to ask was, "Where is your friend going to be flying to?"



Tim_Tex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2004
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 46,725
Location: Houston, Texas

06 May 2007, 1:18 am

Welcome to WP!

Tim


_________________
Who’s better at math than a robot? They’re made of math!


postpaleo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2007
Age: 76
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,134
Location: North Mirage, Pennsyltucky

06 May 2007, 2:59 am

Howdy
Ex archeo (still can't spell it) here. No degree, don't need no stinkin degree, self taught and I got into the pro world through the back door.

See here's the thing, this thing has some gifts, one of which you've found. Anthropology, more then a few of us here. I found this place to be a huge gulp of fresh air. I wouldn't trade this AS gift for the world, it's the way I look at it. Grad student, yikes!! That in itself can put one in a rough spot, let alone doing the PHD route. Have had more then a few friends from my field days went that road.

I'm officaly DX'ed as BiPolar, but is not correct and see no reason to correct it as my current doctor is very closed minded and on and on. Might screw up the money gig too, I like not having to do the work thing anymore. Doesn't matter, this is who I am, it fits. With BP, I never could fully get it across, I don't think I could get AS across to anybody that doesn't have it, hasn't lived it. However I can better explain to those that might need to know, whats happening inside me, why I do what I do under certian settings. Each of us is different, but yet we have a common bond, here. And no you did not degress, you'll find of ton of folks where it wasn't figured out correctly. My thing is they never had a name for it when I grew up. School of hard knocks, which you appear to have gotten a degree in too.

Enjoy yourself, some very knowledgeable people here. Take your shows (lol, a little slip there ment shoes, but that word fits as well) off and rest a spell. :)


_________________
Just enjoy what you do, as best you can, and let the dog out once in a while.


alexbeetle
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,314
Location: beetle hole

06 May 2007, 8:46 am

cowlypso wrote:
I'm at the stage where I'm so happy to finally have a correct diagnosis and a name for everything and an explanation for why I am the way I am. But that also means that things aren't going to change, and they probably aren't going to get a lot better. At least with a diagnosis of depression, I could hope that once I was less depressed, I might have more friends and be able to shop by myself without losing my mind. But now I know that things aren't going to change, and I worry about whether I will spend my whole life alone.

Welcome to WP.
I can really relate to this, I was told I had AS 6 years ago after a nervous exhaustion breakdown, but only recently managed to admit it to myself and looked up what that meant for me. The finally finding out WHY to all the problems I had over the years was amazing but the realisation that this is it and it won`t go away is hard.

I have a PhD and thought I was doing fine until I changed jobs (I realise now I did so well in the last one because my boss probably also had an ASD!). I had to tell my current boss what the problem was as things were going horribly wrong, but luckily he has been very understanding and is now impressed with my work and says I can have a job here as long as I want. He makes sure no one makes fun of me or bothers me unduly either.

Regarding the shopping, I do everything possible via internet including pizza and groceries. Also my social network is based on evening classes (structure and common interest in a subject) and the internet.

I hope you can find some friends, help and support here. I really like the Last Post Wins thread, it has become just a long conversation you can dip in and out of as you like. There are so many other threads here though I am sure you will find something that suits.
All the best, Beetle.


_________________
Any implied social connection is an artifact of the distance between my computer and yours.

It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.


9CatMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jan 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,403

06 May 2007, 9:28 am

Welcome to WP!

I am a cat person too! I have nine cats, four indoors (one female, three males-a mother cat and her three sons. The boys take turns sleeping upstairs with me at night) and five ferals (four female, one male-the colony is made up of a family group as well). I also have a dog.

I love tuxedo kitties! I also love tabbies and Siamese.

Please post often. I always like talking to fellow cat lovers.



larsenjw92286
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Aug 2004
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,062
Location: Seattle, Washington

06 May 2007, 9:58 am

Hi!


_________________
Jason Larsen
gameshowdude1986@yahoo.com


Neuromancer
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Apr 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 769
Location: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

06 May 2007, 7:38 pm

cowlypso wrote:
So this is me. Diagnosed with AS at age 26. Slightly depressed as I come down from the elation of finally getting a diagnosis and sink into the reality that it's permanent. I guess if it's not going to go away, I need to learn how to live with it. Which is why I'm here. "


I like a lot to be aspie, I think it happens becaus I loot at the other side of the coin!
Welcome!


_________________
Be yourself!


daveyw
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 5 May 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 37

07 May 2007, 4:53 am

Hi, I was interested to read your post, especially the remark that as a child, other kids complained that you were telling them that they were playing wrong. I work in television and often tell my less experienced co-workers that they are doing things wrong, not getting the details right, etc. Never thought it might be because of my condition.

I'm also a cat person. I live alone now, though, so I decided not to get one. But my neighbour's cats come over all the time.

-David



lau
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jun 2006
Age: 77
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,798
Location: Somerset UK

07 May 2007, 10:46 am

postpaleo wrote:
...Take your shows (lol, a little slip there ment shoes, but that word fits as well) off and rest a spell. :)

Even in full mistype mode, postpaleo can come up with perfect thoughts.
Yes... Wrong Planet is a place where you can certainly take your shows off. I certainly have, since a came here.

So what if "it's permanent" - so, I hope, is "having a brain".

Welcome home, cowlypso.


_________________
"Striking up conversations with strangers is an autistic person's version of extreme sports." Kamran Nazeer