What do I do with my life?

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I am not really knowing What to do next. I feel very stuck on What to do next. Something is not right in my life. I should not let it bother me. But I don't wanna get very overwhelmed and lose the real picture. What should I make my new step? I wanna conquer this world. But What should I do? The only thing I can say is a rewrite a new way to handle this planet.

1. My problem is my family. Well some that are f****d in the head.

2. My friends are not the issue.

3. I went into hell and cannot get out of it.

4. I need someone to activate What needs to be done.

5. Where I live is OK. But I don't know What to prepare next.


Any ideas of What I should prepare for next?

Before I could offer any advice I'd really need to know more about what was/is going on as what could be right in one situation could be really wrong for another.

If it's just a general malaise/lack of direction I don't think anyone can really just tell you what to do, because if you are just following directions I don't think that would be really fulfilling and once you finished you'd be in the same place going what now, why did I go through all that trouble? It's a bit of an existential nightmare, but somethings, such as what you want to do with your life, need to come from yourself...though talking (or posting) about it may help you look at your options and find what's right for yourself.

If you don't know what you want to do, then nobody can tell you how to prepare for it. Nobody can tell you what to want.

I don't know if you work or not, but a job would probably be the number one thing to do at your age. I'm assuming you are out of high school or have a GED already. I'd get a job. If you live with your parents, then move out after you work for a while and save some money. Start going out with friends or meet some people and go out. Do things. Thats how you get your life going. Some people meet someone while still living at home and then get married or move in with them. Thats what I did. But I had a job and went out while still living at home. I got married to my husband when I was 22. It's been 28 years now, and I've still never lived alone, but we have four grown kids and one grandchild so far.

I'm sort of where you are now, since I'm gong through the empty nest thing. I need to find something to do with my life since I don't need to be a stay at home mom any longer. There isn't any work in this town and I don't have transportation and can't afford to get a car for me right now, so my options are limited, but I'm looking and trying. I'm going for volunteer work right now. Of course volunteer work for a "second life" thing for 50 something year old ladies is good, but it's probably not good for a 20 something year old guy. I'd get out and start looking for a job if you don't have one, and if you do but it's not enough to support yourself on, then start looking for a better one.

That is my input on this. Good luck.

I worked two jobs before. And voluntered before. Everything will play out when It's meant.

That doesn't make any sense. So you worked before? So what? You asked what to do now. And what is this play out when it's meant crap? Whats that got to do with doing something with your life? Unless you plan on living it at home with your parents or wherever you live now, then getting a job and your own place is the first priority in starting a life to actually do something with.

If you were talking about how to go about getting out there and starting a life and living it then thats what you need to do. What exactly are you talking about if not about how to start your life?

I've worked before. I've worked a lot of jobs before. Some interesting and exciting, some BS and boring. That has absolutely nothing at all to do with me finding something to do with the second half of my life. Well, my work experience has to do with what kind of job I could get if there was work here in town, but it's not a job I'm looking for. I have my own home and family, I'm looking for purpose in the second half of my life now that I'm done raising my family and they are starting their own lives. (By the way they are either doing what I told you to do, or they are going to or about to be going to college)

If it's purpose you are looking for, then I don't know. I'd talk to people more in line with philosophy about that, or find a cause you are passionate about and if you can work that into an actual paying job then go for it, but if not then make time for volunteering for it, but I was assuming you were talking more about the actual how to go about getting out there and living and creating a life. Thats what I was telling you how to do. I have kids around your age and those kind of things are the concerns that they and their friends have. I'm simply telling you what they did and what they are doing and what we told them to do and what I did and my husband did and everybody else my age I know did.

If you want to go have a life and live it and do something with it, start with a job. If you want to find purpose, talk to someone about seminary for the religion you believe in. Thats honestly all I can tell you.

What do you mean by "Something is not right in my life?"

"My problem is my family." You are an adult, so this is kind of hard to believe. Why don't you just go somewhere else? Change contexts?

If the issue is that you can't, than the reason for that is also part of the problem and you are externalizing the problem by attributing it all to them. This is unlikely to result in any useful plan of action or change because it isn't solidly grounded in reality.

What do you mean by "Activate what needs to be done?" Why does someone else need to get you started? This sounds like more externalizing of problems that are yours, not the world's.

Alas, that's the plight of many people on the Spectrum: they're still pretty much dependent upon their family for sustenance--and they don't see a way out. Despite being a chronological adult.

One of the main tasks for WP should be to promote independence in people with ASD's. We have to break through the ambivalence of many--they want to strike off on their own, yet they are scared to do so.

Our overall philosophy should be to at least attempt to provide the ways and means for people, if they are able, to leave the nest of their upbringing, and establish a new, independent base for themselves.

This is why I shouldn't say things. You guys put way to much and I was trying to be able to get helpful advice.not being badgered by Oh you can't get your life started thats No ex use.oliveoilmom, I get your kids went to college. Seems women on the planet can do more power than a guy trying to get less power between the lines. If it wasn't for this stupid world order system we have. None of us on wrongplanet would have problems with the working world.

What are you talking about? My life has been started and lived and I'm starting on the second half of it. I did give you helpful advice. Two of my kids went to college. The other two didn't graduate high school. All of them are doing what they can to start their lives. I was trying to give you some options and advice about what to do. You want to get out of the house? Then get a job. You had a job before you said, so good. But you have to keep a job to get out of the house because you will always have bills to pay.

Also what "more power" do you think I have because I'm a lady? I'm a freaking housewife! I don't have any "power". My husband goes to work, I stay home and take care of the house and the kids when they were young. That was our choice. Daycare would have killed us financially and I would have just been working to pay daycare rather than making anything, so I stayed at home. I also think it did a lot for my kids to have a mom at home when most of their friends didn't. They had stability there. So how the hell do you think I have some kind of power because my girls chose college and my boys chose work? My boys didn't do anything you couldn't do if you are physically average. They work at factories. They make decent money. It's assembly line work. Boring, but income.

Also, what "world order" system are you talking about? I'm not doing the tinfoil hat thing so I'm not into conspiracies and paranoia. The world is simple. It's not stacked against anyone no matter how much it seems that way. It's just how it is. Also, I've had jobs before. I've been to college before, twice, and quit. Once to get married and once when I got pregnant with my first. I've had some really great jobs and some I hated. I could easily work if there was work in this town and I had transportation, but because of financial crap I can't buy a car right now. Having AS isn't why I don't work and can't go to work right now. I struggled and worked hard to make myself fit in. One of the main things I had to do was force myself not to wallow in "oh I can't the world is against me" crap whenever I'd fail, which happened many, many more times than you could imagine.

So, bottom line here. What exactly is it you are wanting to do? Do you want to go to work and get out of your parents house and start a life or not? If so, why can't you work? If you aren't able to work or anything like that then you may have to resign yourself to being with your family or somewhere subsidised for care of people who can't work. What is it you are actually asking here, because you aren't really making much sense at all.

That really makes sense. I have some thoughts about that but I have to get some work done today! I'll try to remember to come back to this, though. It seems like a very important issue.

Kraftie - You are spot on.

By the way, I still miss your old avatar.

Tall-P sent me the link. I might change back to it next week--

Or: for everyone's perusal, I might insert an avatar which depicts a beautiful scene in Roslyn, NY.

So-this makes me a bit sad. I think people really are trying to be helpful here and you feel badgered.

An aspect of this is that there is not a lot of detail in your original post, so people are trying to guess what you meant. No one here is telepathic, so they have to go by the words in the post. You know what you meant with great precision, but everyone else is using their imagination and experience to create possible interpretations or just ask questions.

The thing I was trying to say is that when people say, "it's all my family," they usually mean something like: "my family does stuff I don't like and I am dependent on them so I can't get away."

I have no idea if this is true in your case, but when it is true, it's a pattern of thinking that stops people from finding ways to make things better because it puts the problem in the wrong place.

You can't make your family into different people. No one has that power. So the question is: what can you change? Usually the answer is something in your own circumstances. If you could find a way to live independently of them, would your family issues still be a problem?

If the answer is no, which is what I would expect, then you can focus on how you might be able to gain independence from them--and while this might be very hard, it is probably within the realm of possibility while changing their personalities or character is not.

I really hope things get better for you. I'm sorry you didn't find the discussion here helpful, but I hope you can imagine that people were not trying to badger you but really trying to understand your problems and how to make them better.

Good luck.