Stressed About Moving Out
I've finally found a job that will let me move out of my parents' house. I start on the 13th of this month, but I'll be living in a cheap hotel for a week since my apartment won't be ready to move in until the 18th. I hope you can understand why I'm really stressed about all this. For one thing, it's in a city that's a two hour drive from my mom and dad, so it's not like they'll be close by to help me if I need them. It's a pretty big city, too- at least compared to the small town I've lived in the past eleven years. I'm not worried about money, since I've run the numbers and am pretty certain that I'll be able to live off my paychecks, but that's about the only thing I'm not stressing about. What if I end up working with a bunch of jerks? What if I have rude, noisy neighbors that keep me up at night? What if my apartment is in the middle of street gang territory? The thing that worried me most is, what if I find that I'm so utterly dependent on my parents that I can't function on my own? Does anybody have some tips for how to cope with living by myself, at least for the first few weeks until I get used to it?
It seems you've done the math so that financially thing will be secure. So I might suggest your next project could be one that has been a lifelong endeavor for me. That is: Breaking the habit of projecting negative outcomes.
From what I read in your post, there are no more reasons to anticipate negative things than there are to anticipate positive things. So Mr. Spock might question how logical it is to be overly anxious.
I know personally that is a zillion times easier to say that than to do it. But I also know from experience that not to work on negative projections can lead me down a path toward self-fulfilling bad stuff.
I find all the usual things to be helpful: affirmations, meditation, relaxation exercises, physical exercise, thought replacement, and so on.
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"Righteous indignation is best left to those who are better able to handle it." - Bill W.
Thanks, Marky. That's a good tip. Definitely something I need to work on.
Make the inside of your apartment very comforting and nice. Put up posters of things you like. Maybe ask your parents to borrow a few comforting things that remind you of home. Like a favorite comforter or picture. Make sure you have your favorite foods and whatever activities you usually do to wind down with- video games or TV or whatever.
And just go home to visit. In my first apartment, my now-husband and I did our laundry at his parents house every week, so it didn't feel like we were so far away from his home.
You will probably dislike some of your co-workers, but you'll also probably make a friend there.
You probably are not in the middle of gang territory, and even if you are, they probably won't show up at your door, flicking their switchblades. Even poor neighborhoods are usually pretty quiet.
Try to relax and enjoy this experience! It's great to live on your own! You'll find that out very soon! Let us know how it goes! And how it goes at work!

