5 Days In May

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Day 1, Friday: new guitar...Freshman 12 string. Can't wait to get home. 2 bottles of red wine, play all night. new found love for the harmonica. Where did that come from?
Day 2: Hmm woke late.....no surprise. .....Friend I havn't heard from in 2 years phones. AAAhhh feck shes just how I remember her...all drama. Still good to hear from her. So, she comes round to mine. More wine, her boyfriend...blah blah blah....was out all day blah blah blah blah...neglect ...blah. She says ...I've always fancied you, lets dooooo it.
Could I? Nope. Should I have.....hmmm now I'm glad I didn't. She phoned next day and apologised. I love her as a friend, and I'm glad that didn't happen.
Day 3: Mum's just out of hospital...chest pains..done tests...can't find out what it is. This is happening too often. Play some guitar and harmonica.
Day 4: Meet a mate. Few beers, in the bar.....city centre. I feel a tap on the shoulder. I look round. My former girlfriend. In fact, the person I was last in a relationship with(for 3 years). 2 years I've been on my own...by my own choosing...since that last relationship. I end up back at her flat. We're just friends ...right? She wants something. She ended it in the 1st place.
I'm glad we're friends again.
Day 5: She came over to mine. Now she just left for work. This is not ego. Just genuine worry. I could knock myself back 2 years.

Sorry...i just have to let this out

Just reminded me of "The Last Days of May"

"She wants something"
that is mentioned in your journal of your days in May.

It reverberates, 'she wants something'

I am sorry for the troubles your mum is having, it might cause you to feel very vulnerable.

my own experience is telling me to find out 'what she wants' before I reconnect any more emotional connections. Because 'you could knock yourself back two years' is very, very real!

you are your own best advocate.

(one who wishes you well, and have been there, done that, got the tee shirt and went on the tour!)

Merle