Financial Abuse

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Unfortunately he could, now that its registered in his name it is his car legally...basically he conned you into giving him the car you bought. Also though that means you don't have to pay the insurance, if it's in his name that makes him responsible...if you simply don't give him any more money for insurance.

Still pack up and leave, but you may have to find another means of transportation than that car. Also never, ever trust anything he tells you again.

I'm a bit taken aback and surprised that they even granted him green card status with all that stacked against him! They are super strict about the applicant having someone with enough income to support them, super strict about dodgy things like a history of using an alias which you seem to say he has done. . . this is very odd.

All of this is a horrible situation all-around.

The one thing you MUST do, though, and do it first before you do anything else, and before you leave anyone or go anywhere. . . is to get your name off the billing accounts that he won't let you pay. Close those accounts. If say the electric or water bill is in your name, then you have the power to close that account.

Don't take the car. Close anything in your name. Start thinking now about ANYONE at all who could take you in. Any type of church, charity, friend, relation, anyone at all.

You are in a crisis situation that is only going to get worse if you stay any longer. It's also going to be rough if you take the plunge and get away from all this, but trust me you have to do that.

Just be sure to CLOSE any account where it's you who is liable for the payments. That will end that for starters. He has cleverly made it be that anything in your name is the one he plays fast and loose with, and spends your money while not allowing you to be the one to pay it. He has not been paying stuff that is in your name and that needs to stop.

Its A LOT easier for Cubans to get Green Cards than others. A Cuban basically has to be here for at least one year and relatively healthy (it turned out my husband had dormant turbuculosis and had to be treated with a special med and cured before he could get it) and pass the background checks and fingerprinting but he has no criminal history and they gave it to him in the end. Cubans don't even need to pay the usual over 1000 dollar fee, he got it free.

I can't do anything until I get money Friday and tomorrows my birthday (35) and I do have a phone interview Tuesday with a job I'm really qualified for, is about 1000 miles away, literally, and is a year long and I hope during that year if I get it I can put my life back together!

The "alias" thing they deemed innocent because first he said he spelled his last name slightly different than some of his documents because other members of his family sometimes spelled it lthe different way... Which based on members of his families Facebook accounts and email addresses seems TRUE! Second, he sort of gave himself a middle name he made up, saying he thought he needed a middle name to complete American forms fully... They believed that one too! They determined the correct spelling of his last name was what was on his Cuban birth certificate and that ended up on Hus Green Card and since then everything else BUT THE MARRAGE CERTIFICATE has been corrected! Now my last name is spelled differently than my husbands no joke.

Ah, Cuba, I see now; it's a United States protectorate, so there is a different relationship there than with other places. Wow, they even waive the fee!?

I see the name thing now too; that's good they got that figured out.

I hope you get that job -- that could be your pathway right outta this situation with your uncle, for sure.

Just remember, if and when you ever do get to leave your uncle's place, make sure any of those accounts he made you put in your name instead of his, are closed down. It's really important. Don't leave your uncle's place without making sure to do that first.

He put those in your name and then didn't pay the bills expressly to avoid being the one to get in trouble, so make sure that comes to an end one way or another.

Fingers crossed for you getting that job 1,000 miles away!!

Ok question, does he care about you or were you just a means for him to gain citizenship and be cared for financially? I mean I realise he has some health issues but I understand you do as well? So why can't he also look into getting a job to help you and him improve your situation and move away from your manipulative Uncle? If he just wants to be a push over about this and take your uncles abuse whilst also encouraging you to just keep paying him then it may be the best choice to leave him behind as well. I am not a cold hearted person who thinks you should just abandon someone because things are difficult....but if the person in question wont also make efforts then you may have no other choice for your well being.

Good question Sweetleaf.

While it does legitimately happen that someone falls in love and marries someone from another country for reasons as real and genuine as any marriage, it has to be asked, are you sure this guy married you for genuine reasons and not just to be in the country and/ or to take advantage of you bringing in money while he doesn't have to?

I'm thinking maybe being that it's Cuba he's from, he didn't need to marry anyone, but even if that's the case, I still worry that he's none the less taking advantage of you financially since he's not bringing any money into the household and it's all on you. It worries me that both of these men are in fact relying on your money.

He also does seem way too interested in maintaining the status quo with your uncle even though it's so messed up, like, anything for a quiet life, rather than addressing a bad situation.

Before he was married to me he actually had another american wife and she died. Anyway sometimes I love him to death, sometimes I hate his guts.... I still can't completely figure him out though because he's awfully NT and he seems to be an extra social one at that!! !

Everyone says he seems to really care...

Actually maybe you should steal the car...

Hear me out here, I had an interesting thought. First off don't do this cause I said it might work this way but in order to prove grand theft auto you have to prove an intent to permanently deprive the owner of it... forever. A wise lawyer you could twist you taking the car as the lesser charge of joyriding which is petty by saying the abuse lead you to take the car for a get away and it would provide the quickest means of escape.

I wouldn't try it but maybe someone needs to put more thought into it, look for legal loop holes in auto laws, maybe you still have some legal right to the car on a technicality but talk to a lawyer for you do anything in this regard.

Try and get the car back in your name somehow.

Uncle sounds like a typical parasitic narcissist. Get rid of him quickly with the assistance of law enforcement + restraining order.

Oddly enough I always wondered if he was narcissistic. He actually talks to women online in online groups of people prayed upon by narcissists/psychopatchs (I know this because he oddly will claim I'm an "empath", he is too and encouraged me to join a FB group with him... Lots of people on there were victims of narcissistic abuse and that was a huge topic.)

Don't you have anyone IRL you can trust, Agnix? Love is one thing, trust is another.

Wolves love to dress up as sheep.