My Neice has AS...Advice???

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Hello all...
I am so glad I found this site. I have an 8 year old neice with AS, and it was so comforting to me to know that she will grow to be a fairly normal, functioning adult. I have had a hard time with some of her behaviors, and I am tortured because I LOVE HER SO MUCH it hurts inside. I feel like if I hug her enough, if I kiss her enough, if I love her enough...this will just go away.
But I know it won't. Do any of you have advice as to how to deal with this or any resource lists as far as books or anything that is helpful?? My email is jmdtova@yahoo.com and I would really love to hear from some of you.
~~JEN~~

A lot of people with Asperger's really don't like to be hugged, kissed and touched and an 8 year old may not be able to communicate that.

How do you know she will be a "fairly normal" functioning adult and what do you mean by "fairly normal?" Many people with Asperger's are not able to be independent and some have to live in group homes.

My advice is that you first change your opinion about AS. It is not a disaster. For many people it can be a very positive thing, even for ones that do need assistance with survival. Stop feeling upset that she has AS and start trying to see the positive aspects of it that you can focus on. There is a good side and bad side to everything.

But many people with AS are able to live independently and live fairly average lives when adults. It would probably depend on how severe and if your neice is being treated or not and how. There are many people here at WP who can function "normally" or relatively so, and others who cannot. Autism is defined as a spectrum, with several different degrees of severity. Two aspies can be as different as an aspie and an NT many times.

It's good to have you here at WP. If you keep asking lots of questions, chances are that you will annoy some people (just kidding!) and get many of the answers you need.

Yes, ditto on what has been posted so far.

I realize that I can be exasperating to my loved ones. But I can also be a joy.

I am grateful for all the things I can do and work on those I cannot. Aspergers can have its deficits and difficult points, but I wouldn't change a thing. Let your niece know that you're grateful that she is the way she is (even if you might not wholly feel that way). The more positive assurance she has that she is a beautiful individual, the likely better she will be able to function and enjoy her individual nature, and in turn the less and less you will see her as having any sort of disability.

Even though I do believe AS is a disorder, I do not think it should ever be treated as such.

http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/index.php/cat/autism

This site has a whole slew of books on ASDs. Some books can help you and other loved ones deal with some of the hills and valleys that can come with AS. But be careful not to generalize this stuff too much and always treat her as the gift that she is.

ARRRR...

Someone be posting links for Jen. Nice to see. Arrr

Sorry, still perseverating on the pirate thread...

Probably a good way to show your niece that you love her is to take an interest in her special interests. That will give the two of you something to talk about, and that's probably something an Aspie will welcome more than hugs and kisses. Something that my husband and I (both self-diagnosed Aspies) find depressing is that it's so hard to find people to talk to about our interests, that family members tell us they love us but don't really seem to take an interest in our interests.

Your niece is lucky to have a concerned and loving aunt! Welcome!

i would/ have appreciated my parents giving me some help with social skills - especially when she becomes a teenager - but if shes happy on her own not to pressurize her to be socialble all the time.

I like my AS. With its awesome powers, I can resist all peer pressure. Yay! My mom doesn't fully comprehend AS, and my dad probably still doesn't know (or care, I don't). Your her aunt, so I'd show her parents this site too.