Is my stepfather trying to make me be like him?

Post Reply New Topic

My mother is currently on her fourth marriage though my stepfather has been in her life both before and in the background during her previous marriage. He is pretty much the average older Bible Belt male in that he is very "manly" and has a conservative outlook on life. He loves country music, guns, thinks Donald Trump is the best thing that's happened for the country, and shopping at Wal-Mart (Declares himself to be a 'Wal-Martian'). He does love British TV and movies, though, due to being stationed in England during his military career.

For the most part, he lets me be who I am but there are times I think he is trying to make me be like him. If someone of a non-white ethnicity or is female does something to irritate him, he'll say a racial or sexist slur towards them and go on about how they shouldn't be allowed to do things like drive cars or whatever. He is also friends with a music store owner who is also friends with Ted Nugent (Someone I don't like both as a musician and a human being) and he played us a disgustingly sexist song about his ex-wife ("Don't call me an a**hole because I'm a bigger b***h than you!") on his guitar.

He also doesn't like Austin very much and is constantly telling me how great The Eagles are. He'll call LGBT people "queers" or "fa***ts" and generally speaks harshly about Muslims. One hypocritical thing about him is that he doesn't like Jimi Hendrix because he "smoked dope" but he has no problem with Willie Nelson despite how he smokes pot himself.

You're almost 30 years old. He can't force you to be "like him."

Be a man. Be your own person.

Don't criticize him to his face. But keep solid to your beliefs.

I definitely won't let my stepfather's beliefs mold mine because I used to let that happen but I realized I didn't like it at all.
I actually used to be homophobic due to being around other homophobes and the social atmosphere of the Bible Belt painted homosexuality as a bad thing. My older brother and cousin also used the term "gay" as a negative label and shows like South Park did the same. I am not proud of that part of my past at all but I make up for it by not letting my values ever be persuaded again.

Last edited by Marknis on 22 Mar 2018, 11:31 am, edited 1 time in total.

I had a "mother's boyfriend" who was a sleazebag, too.

He tried to make me similar to him.

He didn't succeed.

I knew what I "was about" even as a kid.

My thoughts exactly. Be yourself. There's only one of you in this world, Marknis. So why not be the only one of you in this world? Don't give up who you are for the sake of pleasing other people. I have tried that many times and it always put me in a bad situation.

Don't worry, I have no desire to ever go back like I once was like. When I did that, I actually rejected a lot of things I enjoy today. I knew someone who said Final Fantasy games were "stupid" or something like that and I actually stopped playing them for a long time because of what he said. He also made me ashamed of liking anime as well and I sometimes kick myself for letting his words have power over me. There was a time I had some interest in the Gorillaz but my older cousin didn't like them and I became too scared to express any interest around them because I didn't want to get made fun of. My older brother would also tell me things like "I hope you don't start liking Dragon Ball Z!" instead of letting me discover my passions.