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I'm doing a lot better. Living in the city suits me. It seems there's more people to relate to here. I've met other people like me who have moved around, a lot of people I've met have moved here from other countries, and don't view me like the freak that small town people do.

I have nothing against small town people. The difference is they like to stay in their comfort zone and be with their families and I scare them a bit because I'm too far outside of their life experiences and they don't know what to do with me. I don't fit in any boxes. They just want to be with their families and childhood friends and don't want to let anyone else in.

An older woman I know who is in her 70s and lived her whole adult life in one town said to me, "maybe you'll stop running from your problems now." As though moving to new places to meet new people and do different jobs is a flaw and not a symptom of curiosity and enjoyment of life. We are just different I guess and she likes the comfort of familiarity, whereas I like seeking out new experiences.

I finally feel like I'm not the problem. I AM NOT THE PROBLEM. Woo hoo! People here like me and invite me out and include me and want to go see quirky films and meet for lunch and go to art galleries.

Now. Having been depressed for quite some time I'm still struggling with negativity, especially over past experiences. Its hard to forgive people who i thought were friends who actually didnt give a crap about me. You maybe think i shouldn't forgive, but I dwell too much on being angry with them and that stress is not good for my health and well being. The thing is, they are oblivious and the only person I'm hurting is myself.

Also, when you don't care about anything you get into debt. Especially when you're ill and too tired to cook and waste money on pre-made meals. I'm struggling financially and that's getting me down. It's hard not to berate myself for being stupid with money. I can only change the future. I've made up a budget and I'm going to have a boring year ahead of me as I penny pinch.

I'm still struggling with not being negative in what I say to other people. It's difficult to view things in a positive light when you've been struggling with people who don't care about you for so long. Especially when a lot of my social contact has been arguing with people on the internet. I've cut down my contact list on Facebook over the past 6 months to mostly family to stop myself from moaning about the injustices of life on there. I was just shouting into the wind anyway.

Bearing grudges is a waste. I’m glad you’re in a “better place” in more ways than one.

If I lived in the UK, I’d probably be more inclined to eat home, rather than order takeaway.

Except maybe for those chicken and chip places.

Nice to read about all the positive changes in your life!

With regards to your budget, debt, penny pinching.. been there, done that. ~6 years ago I was $110k in debt then bankrupt. I lived on nearly zero dollars for a long time. Now on my best day in the stock market I've been up more than that in the black. I've never earned a high income. The single biggest thing I learned to do, out of necessity, is to Spend Time Not Money! The things I enjoy in life cost next to zero dollars, mostly just time, and I lead a fantastic quality of life. Just because your entertainment budget & disposable income are very low does Not mean that you can't have fun! You simply have to learn that there are MANY things to do that cost nearly nothing but time that will put a smile on your face! If more people lived their lives like this, they wouldn't have such financial struggles and stresses. I hope this is a time in your life where you get to learn these things, too.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Oh, this is GREAT news, hurtloam----I'm so happy that YOU sound so happy!!

Having friends, now, and going-out and doing things with them, will, I think, tremendously help your depression. That's not to say that you might not still struggle with negativity "over past experiences", but I'm thinking you'll be more confident, now, and will have a whole new lease on how to deal with things----ANY THING!!

Don't worry about being "stupid with money"----I think we've all, pretty much, been there----when you know better, you do better!!

I've never known you to be "negative in what I say to other people"----unless you mean in-person people----here, IMO, you're just blunt (yet, not rude, disrespectful, and the like), and I, quite frankly, find that very refreshing!!

Again, I'm so happy for you!! ((((hugs))))

Hurtloam, I’m glad things are going so well for you. It sucks that you are going to have to pinch your pennies for a year, but it sounds like your life has taken a turn for the best. I’m moving from a country town to a city in a few months time. I hope I get some friends there just like you’ve managed to do.

Thanks guys.

Yours right Goldfish there's lots of free things I can do. Hopefully winter is finally over and I can start exploring.

That's great news hurtloam.

I can definitely relate to the small town thing. This is going to sound harsh, but I found that in smaller towns, finding open minded and curious people was extremely rare. Talking about science, philosophy, anything nichey or outside pop culture would get me odd stares. I also felt this was amplified by me not looking like a stereotypical nerd.
This why I really dislike small towns, and in my opinion, small towns are not great places to live for most aspies.

Yay! I'm so happy for you. One problem I've always had with small towns is that it gets lonely after some time especially when there's not a lot of people with your interest and even something as simple as their way of enjoying life. Sorry about your budget. I still live with my mom, brother and cats and we are financially secure people so I don't know what it's like to move to a bigger city and not have a lot of money (I live in a very rural area) but I really admire you for taking a huge step!