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everyone is nice to me but nobody really like me

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Luhluhluh
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08 Apr 2018, 7:27 am

So... why can't you do things on your own? You said you enjoy nature - that's good! Are there some hiking or walking trails you like? And why are you not able to do them on your own?

That said - I totally understand what you mean. People are reasonably friendly to me too, but I have almost no one I can consider a friend - someone to go out and do things with. So I do a lot of things on my own. I regularly vacation on my own, I've gone on overseas trips on my own, see movies on my own, because either I can't find anyone to go with me, they can't afford it, or they just didn't want to see or do what I wanted to see or do. And I decided I wasn't going to sit around and wait for anyone because ultimately I'm the one missing out on the experience.

I don't know if it's possible for you to do these things by yourself, but I do recommend it if possible. It really is liberating - being able to go somewhere and not have to cater to someone else's whims and do what I want. :D


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LaetiBlabla
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08 Apr 2018, 8:03 am

ltcvnzl wrote:
I mostly like my company but I wanted to change the activities I do (I wanted to go out more) and I can't do it alone.
There is a lot of beautiful nature near where I live, but I can't go alone and nobody invites me (even when I expressed my will to some people I talk too).


You can go alone, why not?



Sarahsmith
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08 Apr 2018, 11:09 am

I feel the same way. Lots of freindly people around but it hard to connect with people on a deeper level. Im pretty clueless about how to make friends with people.



kraftiekortie
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08 Apr 2018, 11:22 am

I know Budapest is a nice city. Did you learn much Hungarian? It’s not a Slavic, Romance, or Germanic language, so it would be harder to learn.

Did you explore the Hungarian countryside much?



TheAP
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08 Apr 2018, 12:12 pm

Same here. When I was in school, most people were nice to me, but didn't seem interested in developing a close friendship with me, and I felt left out of conversations a lot.



ltcvnzl
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08 Apr 2018, 1:05 pm

LaetiBlabla wrote:
ltcvnzl wrote:
I mostly like my company but I wanted to change the activities I do (I wanted to go out more) and I can't do it alone.
There is a lot of beautiful nature near where I live, but I can't go alone and nobody invites me (even when I expressed my will to some people I talk too).


You can go alone, why not?


I can't. It's dangerous as we don't have much structure in this places, like even established routes or much kind of support. It's mostly something you will go with a group who already know this places. :/



ltcvnzl
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08 Apr 2018, 1:10 pm

Luhluhluh wrote:
So... why can't you do things on your own? You said you enjoy nature - that's good! Are there some hiking or walking trails you like? And why are you not able to do them on your own?

That said - I totally understand what you mean. People are reasonably friendly to me too, but I have almost no one I can consider a friend - someone to go out and do things with. So I do a lot of things on my own. I regularly vacation on my own, I've gone on overseas trips on my own, see movies on my own, because either I can't find anyone to go with me, they can't afford it, or they just didn't want to see or do what I wanted to see or do. And I decided I wasn't going to sit around and wait for anyone because ultimately I'm the one missing out on the experience.

I don't know if it's possible for you to do these things by yourself, but I do recommend it if possible. It really is liberating - being able to go somewhere and not have to cater to someone else's whims and do what I want. :D


I do a lot of things on my own, but it limited my options to things I can do on my own. I didn't mind it when I lived in a bigger place, as people seemed to do it as well – but here it feels weird to be alone, and people actually pay attention to it (I'm not being paranoid as a girl who works in a cafe I go sometimes already commented to me that she finds funny how I always go there alone).

But I traveled a lot alone, I used to go a lot to cinema or art exhibitions on my own and I don't mind it. I just become more aware of it because I wanted to experiment other things (like going to the nature) and I can't do it on my own because we don't have structure for it here, so you need to rely on someone who knows the place.



ltcvnzl
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08 Apr 2018, 1:18 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I know Budapest is a nice city. Did you learn much Hungarian? It’s not a Slavic, Romance, or Germanic language, so it would be harder to learn.

Did you explore the Hungarian countryside much?


Budapest is amazing. It's beautiful, it's really lively, good public transport, cheap, interesting. I love that place and I wish to be able to live in Europe again at some point.

I learned very little of it despite taking a one year course of Hungarian – OK it was the classes provided by the university and they were just a bit slow and repetitive, but the language itself is quite hard as a lot of vocabulary don't have much connection to any language I know.

I traveled more to other places instead of Hungarian countryside, but I went to a few places and it was quite lovely.



Kinme
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08 Apr 2018, 10:35 pm

You might be choosing the wrong people to try to be friends with--the busy, avoidant ones, and inadvertently ignoring the ones who do--accepting and open. I have noticed I've been doing it a lot recently. The ones who pursue me and try to be friends I end up saying weird things or ignoring on accident. You'll get better at it; it just takes awareness of what you're doing wrong, or of what's sending people the wrong signals. If it keeps happening to you, chances are, it's something you're doing that's causing the issue, sadly.



blooiejagwa
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09 Apr 2018, 8:27 pm

I am the same way. I understand.


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ElleGaunt
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13 Apr 2018, 11:13 am

ltcvnzl wrote:
i feel i'm being unfair of being so sad about people because at least in recent years everyone is friendly to me, while traveling i always found lots of helpful people, people at university seem to have a positive view on me, at work too. but at the same time, nobody really seems interested to be my friend? like if i met someone by chance, they talk with me and are polite, but nobody really invite me to do things or come to talk with me on facebook, nobody really seem interested in getting a deeper bond with me, it really saddens me.


I know. I feel the same way. It's hard. It makes me feel bad about myself. It seems unfair. It makes me wish I knew more autistic adults.

I'm glad you shared this. Thanks for being honest.