Overwhelmed

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I eat at a soup kitchen because I cant afford much food and because I hate cooking. Recently I met an 80 year old man there. He is very lively. We've been hanging out a lot. He is introducing me to a lot of people. Its really hard for me to socialize and people have been commenting on how I look anxiouse and depressed. The 80 year old man wants to have lunch at the park tomorrow. I dont mind but I just hope he doesnt want to hang out like every day. He always wants me to sit at his table at the soup kitchen. I have to let him know I need my space. I hope he understands. To me socializing with neurotypicals can be draining. Its not so bad socializing in my social group because the leader is trained to deal with people with autism. She is very understanding. Most neurotypical people are not. It makes me very nervous.

I've been in many similar situations. People wanting to socialize when I am in my most intense "Touch-Me-Not" moods causes me physical pain; I can't eat, I can't talk, and I just want to be left alone. I hate to be mean to them, and I just wish they would understand instead of trying to analyze and "cure" me.

You have to tell him in no uncertain terms that you need your space -- peace and quiet, preferably alone.

Good luck.

It's possible that he might "like" you in a romantic way, too.

If you don't want to hang out with him, be nice about it, talk about "needing space."

Yes I need to convey I would like to be alone without sounding like a b***h. I dont mind hanging out with him every once in a while but I dont want it to be every day. Its frustraiting because he is hard of hearing and walks at a snails pace!

I've had this problem occur a lot. Not sure if there is a good way of explaining it to someone. They will usually take it the wrong way as if you're making up an excuse to not be around them. Maybe by explaining that you have ASD and what that exactly means it could help him to understand your situation. Try to be as open and honest as possible about it and hopefully it goes well.