I get told one thing one time, like just my mom and me going to the lake, or how long we are going to stay at someone's house, then get told something different last-minute, like how my mom is talking with one of her girlfriends who I have no idea who she is (plus kids involved!), and end up staying the night or longer, usually without my medicine to take the next morning.
Other things that bother me is my mother asks me where I want to go out to eat, but will often keep changing her mind and changing her mind, sometimes constantly, sometimes making the decision to go somewhere else. And whenever I bring up to her about it she tries and guilt trips me, saying "I'm not allowed to have ideas?!" (my mother, in a very unstable state of mind, would rather accuse me of holding her back (like, how am I doing that? I'm just a kid you put so much fear into growing up that I can't rebel against you, or make you not do anything) than talk rationally. Often, she will throw my procrastination and what I did wrong that SHE WON'T EVEN BOTHER TO TELL ME in my face. She rarely ever apologizes for it.) She will also tend to keep changing her mind about going somewhere, making me do things I don't want to do, and often, instead of going home from what was supposed to be a trip to the grocery store, she will, without saying a word to me, and if so, it will be last-minute, go to a sewing store or the liquor store or out to eat or whatever.
Oh, and when I ask my mother to do something on a certain day, she WILL not do it day of. She must have at least 24 hours' notice before doing anything or taking me places where I want to go, but will make me do things I don't wanna do, like going to the laundromat or the store or out to eat day of.
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Am I just being selfish? Or is it a normal reaction to feel selfish after I've had to sacrifice myself physically, emotionally, and mentally for her ever since first grade?
Or is this a normal feeling in general?
17 Jun 2018, 2:42 pm
