Panic attacks.

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breathe

Same here. I guess a night out helped but I have to go to sleep now.

hey cberg)
maybe u are forgetting to launch ur dischord?)(no pressure)
try having a hot shower, it usually helps a bit
also, Isabella, sorry for short answer - i had a mute episode at that time. couldnt do much, sorry.

Thanks to both of you!

Mine was short-lived. I live in mute moments so I know how you feel, serpentari. I hope you're doing better cberg. Keep writing because we like to hear from you and it's a healthy way to stay connected.

good to know u feel better, isabella. and ty.

Oh I'm just thankful it's there, I have a whole bunch of Python automation script to figure out this month so there's not much energy left on my part for talking to humans.

I know I'm really crazy & all but I still need to get on top of helping my friends not isolate themselves. I'm aware of the willpower required to do this; the crazier thing is that my friends have way more willpower than me yet they still build walls left & right. These days absolutely anyone can find their social life limited by a touchscreen that sold it off to companies that make a killing manipulating everyone to stay glued to that screen.

TV watches you now.

My past is really f****d up but that doesn't automatically ban me from fixing the future. How does someone stereotyped as a robot show love without being selfish?

Note to self: f*****g relax like guardian demon said or you will get fired over BS hacker stigma. Chill the f**k out & be 1337.

indeed, f*****g relax) u see, showing ur emotions is just a thing u do ur own way. ppl around u, if they have brain and compassion, will adapt. as long as there is something to adapt to) such as, if u show nothing, they wont know how to react. but if u show something, get misunderstood, get some explanation done, next time it will be easier. if ofc the otther party is willing for effort. and if they are not, then well, i've bitched at that, a bit too much. unwilling ppl wouldnt be good for u even if u were perfect at communication. allways a 2way street. and u think u should make it happen just on ur own. doesnt work that way.

I'm trying to find more time to be honest about emotions with friends. I haven't found much time for that yet.

I called in sick Monday & tried to sleep it off. At least I got a snow day today so I can work from friends' places. I'm not likely to be getting any more code written before the 1st meeting I'm leading about that tomorrow

cberg, look. i really want to help u. and to get to know u better, too (not in gender meaning, mind that). i like u, u really are a very interesting person. but i cant do much when u are so shelled up... i know why that happens. because u might not entirely know what and when would trigger u. so u try to play safe. maybe not even fully conscious. letting that shell go is scary as f*****g hell. i kinda didnt have a choice, my was forcibly broken... i am here each and every time, but i am kinda... getting desperate. u suffer and i cant do much for u. i'll just be here...

No worries, I'm mostly just lurking in this thread so I can keep track of myself. I'll get the stress behind me sooner or later.

sooner rather than later, if u let it out... u've been facilitated for that. stewing in ur own pain wont help anything.

It's also that I need to cut out the worrying.

u cant cut it out, hon. improvise, adapt and overcome, more likely ^^ it allways is there, the worrying. or anxiety. and we have to learn to function with it, because it will not go away anytime soon.