Feeling guilty about not being close to my grandparents

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it recently dawn on me that someday my grandparents will die and I have no good memories of us spending time together. Makes me feel like a bad grandson and I could do more. Like my grandma moved away to help my aunt take care of her daughter and she came back to town recently. I didn't even saw her and I only thought about seeing her like two times. My grandpa is still in town I believe so I should check up on him tomorrow.

do u want to be around ur grandparents? so well, u could try.

Guilt is a bad emotion except in one instance: if it motivates change.

I grew up with one grandmother always around and she was wonderful. But later in life, I got to know my other grandmother better, and made a point of visiting her often.

So you have this opportunity to get to know your grandparents. Take it. Remember that older people may not be very involved in social media, or even texting, so do things like handwritten letters, birthday cards, and scheduling face to face visits.

Paternal grandfather died when I was 2
Maternal grandfather I never knew. He died in 1988
Maternal grandmother died just before I was 5.

That left my paternal grandmother. I'd see her a couple of times a year when my father was based in London. I wouldn't say my siblings and I disliked her, but neither were we very close to her.

Do you have any old photos of you together? You could sit with them and ask for their memories of those times. Write it down or record their voices.

Both of my paternal grandparents died before I was born. My maternal grandparents played favorites with their grandchildren and I was very low on the list. They never had time for me to do things with them when we would come over to visit. I have the memory of walking into a conversation between my parents and those grandparents whereby my grandmother admitted that she only had one real grandson (one of my cousins). Said cousin committed murder of a 7 year old kid when he was too young to be charged with the crime. He could do no wrong in their eyes. He was the darling of their lives, simply because he was born first.

Over time, both grandparents passed on. I did not go to my grandmother’s funeral because I was busy with finals at the time. I really do not know how to process the relationship that I had with them, so I try not to. The only time I think of them is when I have to visit the family cemetery to pay my respects to my father on Memorial Day.

My step-grandmother died recently, and it's left a bit of an impact on me. She was an awesome person, and I really miss her.

We do and this is a good idea

I’m glad! I have a photo of me on my grandmothers knee at Christmas and I have it as wallpaper on my phone right now. It’s comforting even 60 years later.

I kinda relate to this.

My grandma and step-granddad (I'll just call him my granddad from now on - less words) live fairly close, but I don't see them even when they come to visit.
My anxiety gets bad around too many people, and when they come round the rest of my family are there, so 6 people including me. I never say anything so I don't tend to go.
On top of that I don't understand my granddad's sense of humor at all, or even most of what he says. It makes me uncomfortable when everyone laughs at something and I don't get it at all.
Also my grandma has dementia which is deteriorating. It freaks me out so that makes me feel bad too.
She used to be mean back when she had her mind together, but is super nice now and still I don't see her
Apparently she asks about me all the time, which adds a lot to the guilt.

I have no advice, I just wanted to share my experiences without starting a whole new thread. I will ask that no one derails the thread in order to offer me advice.