In the hospital agsin

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I've been in the hospital again since Sunday (or Monday). It was a recurrence of my building up water weight and being in to intnesely lose weight and be checked. I'll wait til,' later to say more...I've used my phone so much I'm worried about getting CTS on my left arm ! I'll try and get some watching TCM in to rest it .

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Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...I was feeling (still in l'hopital) quite good/nice, but then once again I thought of having never gone to uni and thought " what could have. been " _ and now, again, going through it again to write it, actual were.tears came out . An oldie but cryie . I imagine campus scenes and...

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Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

I'm sorry you aren't well, ASS-P. I wish you all the best and hope you get well soon.

Best wishes, ASS-P.
Hope you get better soon.

Happy Easter, ASS-P.

Happy Easter, ASS-P.

...Thank you to all.
Actually, things are looking sorta of up, considering - Someone I met through WP is being quite helpful to me - But, I've been through massive amounts of property simply being thrown away by shelter people, p
literally when I turn my back and do something that is, in a shelter situation, normal - Clothes and reading and musical instruments and...(later)

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Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...(continuing from above)...medicine and more . The most recent proven throw-away happening when I went out one morning with most, anyway, of my stuff tucked away as it was supposed to be. The things tucked away were gone when I got back . Now, perhaps those among you who tell me that I'm not obedient enough to authority will say ' Well, you deserved it because you didn't tuck away absolutly EVERYTHING! "
I think I had dirty clothes in s bag under/at the foot of the bed - bunk - and spare shoes and soap and a mug underneath. There is s drawer under the bed for your stuff. Will " those ', again, say, " they wouldn't have thrown them away/taken them if you'd stuffed absolutely EVERYTHING in the drawer? " It's been said before on this board to me, " You live on public trust (whatever works) so you're obligated to/can't complain..." .
This throw-away was different from the earlier one, which I think I wrote about in more detail before. Oh, and I said " proven ". I left some things there when I went to the hospital this time for " needed/wanted to keep ". Among things left behind were two thirds of a package of never:worn underpants, bought at Target. I was wearing the first, took two more with me. I had been trying to rebuild my clothes. After the earlier " respite " shelter, where a dispute happened and I got thrown out...and before that, the staff there " lost " a T-shirt of mine at some point, as well as throwing away rather than cleaning clothes that were soiled from digestive accidents, even IIRC shirts that were little if at all affected . After which, I got rather PO'd at behavior of the staff regarding other clothes of mine and neatly threw some officially cleaned clothes away - Perhaps that was good, as I soon after, IIRC, was kicked out, and I had a lot to carry as was. I did have some clothes. Maybe " those ", say, will chime in that I, since etc. can have only - a duffel bag? - of possessions - if that

.Any, I'd started to rebuild my clothes. Much of the time I buy 2nd hand clothes, however, for one, since both in Santa Cruz and here in SF I am bus-distance from from Target and will get " better ' & base clothes there - including sweat/pajama pants, I guess all the trousers I wear anymore. I do buy 2nd hand too, but needing or wanting new pants, I'll go there, to be able to.gusrenteed get something, 2nd- handers don't always have something suitable/wanted. I do buy new underwear there, perhaps I am trying to grip some remmnant of my former middle-class status. Perhaps I should be a working-class hero and look for second-hand underwear, I remember s thrift shop here that had (presumably ) 2nd-hand underwear for sale - I'll presume it was cleaned, but I still tend to respond ...
I had just started to rebuild my clothes. I had just one set of pants, bought in the same Target visit I bought the undies at. They're here with me.

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...To-day, Slrik 26, I was told I'd be discharged too-morrow...and that I would be discharged, they seemed to indicate anyway, tomorrow to neither of the two shelters that I have been in and can come back to in my time back in SF, as they seemed to say that they don't take new clients on weekends, but to some other shelter - one not do familiar to me, and perhaps away from proximity to the bus, or at least me knowing where it is - and perhaps the general midtown area, which I'd where I've tended to live much of my life here - I'm crippled, you know, but I tended to be like that even before then, - That emotions Aspie " stick to a small area a little of the time " thang, ya know ? And perhaps be stuck in that unfamiliar area just because of the (much-delayed) day I was discharged on?
If this happens, I may use my phone, and the money I do have stored up, to book a bus ride to another regional city I used to take cheap bus trips to some - with the thought of the bus itself bring some hours " nicer", as a flop, than a shelter, telling the one office I work with here about it, hanging around that city a little, coming back during next business week to hopefully have something set up for me then. The bus wouldn't be the Hound, but a cheaper " now generation " bus. (You will note my Tom Wants imitations in this last paragraph ).

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!