I was thinking" life sucked ".

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What I said above it what I was thinking of, earlier this night - although I got a bit more cheerful after I got to my phone (& posted about the All In Family/Jefferson's remakes on various placed - Get to g involve ' but I'm getting more down thinking about it now . I was thinking I could die tonight, from my CHF . I was thinking I'd never gotten to do some things, even just reading those readable I bought in 2018. I've never gotten those thing I inherited from Bruh - I remember that person who said how happy he'd be if those pictures in Bruh's stuff were burned - I remember, too, that other person (Dr. Who/Spock) who sent me a nasty PM about a fantasy of me dying and going to tell and being raped and my mother telling me I was no good . Now I"m (somewhat) down .
I am doing this with a TV on the wall in the background showing the Family-Jefferson's remake here on the shelter. I was feeling these dpasmsjerkinf again earlier .

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Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!