Feeling So Down Lately I'm Feeling Physically Sick

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Lately I'm having instances in which I'm feeling such profound depression and disgust about myself and certain aspects of my life that in some of these instances, my stomach gets queasy and I start almost feeling physically sick. Some of the depressing aspects I've gone into detail about here, some I've mentioned a bit about, and others I've mentioned nothing about.

I'm overwhelmed by issues that I really want to overcome, ranging from things I'm struggling with getting momentum behind to things I'm not even sure can actually be solved. I'm all kinds of unsure how to proceed,.and I fear that all that awaits me is a downward spiral.

Do you almost have your degree?

You give good advice to Marknis and to Sly. About not allowing the pursuit of a girlfriend to be your life's mission.

Primary care physician

Psychiatrist

Psychologist

Drugs

I'm not going for a degree. You might be confusing me for someone else.

And thanks. I mean, the way I see it you can allow the pursuit of a girlfriend to be your life's mission, but only if you're willing to make all the right choices to be appealing enough to women to give yourself a good chance of getting a girlfriend. If you don't have much going for you in a material sense and don't "have your life together" then focusing on self-improvement is almost certainly necessary before worrying about a girlfriend, in the same way that setting up the pieces for a game of chess is necessary before you start playing.

I've considered seeing him

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:

Psychiatrist

Psychologist

I've considered trying to see a psychologist again, but before I would go through with it, I'd have to work out specifically what I'm hoping to gain from seeing them, since that was a recurring question from my last psychologist and I didn't have an answer.

Trouble is I'm not very convinced that the issues I'm having are issues that a psychologist has the capacity to help much with.

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:

Drugs

I've grown to dislike the idea of psychotropic mediaction. Was on it for 6 years and I stopped taking it around Christmas last year. at no point did I stop being depressed while I was taking it, and I only took it for fear of what things might be like if I didn't. I suspected that I would feel no different if I stopped taking them and I was absolutely right.

I don't view the emotions I'm having as the problem. I view them as being symptomatic of the problems I'm having in a few areas of life, and as such, subduing the emotions without solving the problems is at best a bandage solution.

I used to feel exactly like you. I used to think that everything I'd do would turn to dust or end up in the toilet, but here's the thing, do you think you're a good person?

Only you yourself know what you're capable of doing. Uplift yourself. Be a positive person. Not trying to have a go, just sharing my thoughts.

Firstly, I'm sorry you're feeling so low. The mind and body have a great impact on each other, and sometimes it's hard to know whether physical or emotional stressors happened first, or which triggered the other. If you don't want to see your doctor, I hope you're trying to take care of yourself with healthy food, extra sleep, sensory rest and little goals or milestones to get you through each day. Try to have a little structure in your life so you aren't dealing with uncertainty more than necessary. Focus on your special interests or things that bring you joy (used to bring you joy?) as much as you can.

This advice likely sounds cliché and you may have tried it all anyway. If nothing seems to help, I recommend seeing your doctor or psychologist. Let them know you can't pinpoint your feelings or your goals in therapy, but if you explain what you wrote to us in the OP, I'm sure they can help.

Go see a doctor. Psychosomatic conditions can be dangerous and you might end up with a gastritis or other physiological issue.

You're a smart guy, GrandInquisitor. Why can't you pursue Further Education? Even if it's for a certificate or something?

When I went back to school when I was 36, that gave me the bulwark needed to overcome my depression.

I guess it's not so much what I do turning to dust as what I'm not doing that I feel I should be doing prolonging problems that I'd really be better off solving.

As to whether I'm a good person, I'd say the good outweighs the bad in my character. I don't wish harm on others or anything like that, but I think I tend to be more self-centred than I might otherwise be if I wasn't struggling with certain things.

I don't find being positive in the sense of being bubbly, chirpy, the eternal optimist, etc, fits my character. I try to be a realist, but if I had to classify myself as either an optimist or a pessimist, I'd have to say I lean more towards the pessimist side. I think for me, seeing the negatives in things has become a function for shielding myself from disappointment and helping me mitigate problems and obstacles where they might arise. I'd rather be pleasantly surprised than painfully disappointed if those are the two options.

IsabellaLinton wrote:

Firstly, I'm sorry you're feeling so low. The mind and body have a great impact on each other, and sometimes it's hard to know whether physical or emotional stressors happened first, or which triggered the other. If you don't want to see your doctor, I hope you're trying to take care of yourself with healthy food, extra sleep, sensory rest and little goals or milestones to get you through each day. Try to have a little structure in your life so you aren't dealing with uncertainty more than necessary. Focus on your special interests or things that bring you joy (used to bring you joy?) as much as you can.

This advice likely sounds cliché and you may have tried it all anyway. If nothing seems to help, I recommend seeing your doctor or psychologist. Let them know you can't pinpoint your feelings or your goals in therapy, but if you explain what you wrote to us in the OP, I'm sure they can help.

Thanks for the response.

I'm pretty aware of the things that are causing me to feel depressed, and there are a few of them.

Eating healthy is actually quite pertinent to one of the things I'm struggling with, which is weight loss, and it's something I struggle with because I have a lot of food aversions, very little in terms of culinary skills, a sweet tooth, and a tendency to eat whatever I want. With a structured meal plan and foods I can tolerate, I feel I could successfully stick to it but the trouble is preparing the plan itself. If I leave the choice up to myself in the moment, I might make good decisions for 2-3 weeks, but with no plan in place, before long I start giving myself concessions to have certain things and from there it's a slippery slope, and when I try and fail like that I feel it chips away at my willpower, which I think would get me through quite comfortably if I had more structure, essentially a blueprint for my eating so there are fewer decisions to be made spontaneously.

I can pinpoint my feelings and goals pretty well. The issue with therapy is that I don't know what the therapist can do to help. If the therapist asks me what I hope to achieve out of the sessions and I say weight loss for example, I'd imagine the therapist might not know what to do, and wonder why I'm there with them and not with a dietitian or personal trainer. Then there are things like getting a girlfriend. If I tell my therapist my goal is to get a girlfriend, I don't see what they could do to assist me with that.

BenderRodriguez wrote:

Go see a doctor. Psychosomatic conditions can be dangerous and you might end up with a gastritis or other physiological issue.

If I keep feeling queasy from depression, I'll do that. I've felt depressed today but not to the point of feeling physically sick.

It was Monday night when I made this post, and on Saturday night I did something I don't often do and got quite drunk, to the point of passing out and forgetting some of the things that happened the night before. I wonder if there is any link between how I was feeling yesterday and the day before, and the copious amount of alcohol I had on Saturday night.

I'm going to assume that how I felt had something to do with the copious amount of alcohol I drank a couple of nights prior. My depression levels seem to have returned to normal, where I'm just frequently melancholic and occasionally more deeply depressed.

I can kind of understand the eating thing, I don't have weight problems but anymore for whatever reason eating always just seems like a chore, its ridiculous like I try to eat better and bla bla bla but always seems such a hassle to try and think of something to eat rather than going for some more lazy unhealthy option. Like me and my boyfriend struggle so much with it, plus he has expressed wanting to lose some weight but I mean now we are both working and energy is limited but we both know he has to cut down on the gas station food and sodas, its just finding an effective way to do that is the problem. I mean for me I am not so concerned about weight because I have always been skinny but I can't even drink sodas...too freaking sweet, I mean anymore if its a pro-biotic soda with kombucha or keefer I may go for it but any more if I try to drink a gross sweet soda its hard to even finish it. Like I feel like I need to go to a vitaman cottage to get a tasty drink for the road because at least I know they will have the bubbly pro-biotic drinks that taste more like vinegar than sugar. Which for me its really a taste I prefer, also I hate creamy dressings and only ever use various forms of vinaigrette dressing on salads. So I suppose I have come to like that taste.

Seriously though feels like me and my boyfriend go to the grocery store pretty much every day, we have been trying to plan ahead more and prepare so we don't have to go so often, but admittedly we're not very good at it.