Feeling Highly Frustrated

Post Reply New Topic

I have been a member of a weight loss group called TOPS for Taking Off Pounds Sensibly. I did reach my goal weight within only 9 months of joining. I lost about 25 pounds. I'm very proud of myself for this.

However. Sigh. I don't know if I can force myself to keep going back to this group week after week. The ONLY thing I want out of TOPS is to keep my weight off, and not gain it back. I dislike being in a big, noisy group every week. It's about 20 people. But what I dislike most, is that there are 2 women in there who are either jealous of me or dislike me, and they snipe at me or try to boss me around. I've confronted one (kindly), but to no avail. These are both women who cannot or will not do what it takes to lose the weight. They are rude and disrespectful to me, and to other group members too. Also, the other people who have already reached goal weight tend to be bossy and act like they are better than others. The lady who weighs people tries to push her religion on me. Also, last week I didn't want to weigh in, and the weigher lady and another lady got all shocked, and were like "Really??? Your'e not going to weigh in today??????". I'm like, no, the rules say that I only have to weight in 15 times per year.

I'm also very bored with the silly and inane contests, and programs about the amazing health benefits of beans, or bananas, or whatever. I really enjoy art, and deeper conversations about philosophy, the meaning of life, and get really bored with constant talk about food and weight loss and health.

I would quit in a heartbeat, but I'm worried I'm going to regain the weight without the accountability.

I guess I'm just a maverick and a misfit who doesn't like people very much. I do have about 3 close friends I like very much, but I really don't care for the human race as a general whole. So many rude, ignorant, selfish, nasty people in the world.

I think I'll go look for an online weight loss group.

Does anyone else have any experiences with TOPS, or other groups like this?

Oh yeah, I used to belong to Weight Watchers a long time ago and found sort of the same thing, although not quite as bad as you describe. But in general, I find I do not like groups of people either.

You could try joining Myfitnesspal.com. That one is free and it's fairly easy to use. You can opt to "join" a group of people for accountability or you could just track your calories on your own and no nasty meetings to attend.

Well I confronted, again, (kindly but directly) one of the ladies who was bossy and disrespectful to me in in email, but got no reply. I'm 98% sure she got my email. I've shared my concerns with the group leader, and her idea was to confront her (for the second time). I've also spoken to another of my casual friends in the group. Both of these people are saying they don't want to lose me. However, the ladies to whom I've spoken don't want to deal with the 2 rude and disrespectful members directly. They basically tell me to let it go and not take it personally. I think this is a copout on their parts. Both of them are leaders in the group, and I feel they are avoiding the issue by telling me this. What about the group dynamics makes these 2 people feel it is even OK to act rude and disrespectful to others? I think there may be some deeper issues going on, and the bullying is a symptom of the deeper issues. At any rate, I'm not going back to that group.

I find myself resenting the fact that whenever there is bullying, I often seem to be the chosen target. My husband says it is because I have a quiet and mild mannered personality. However, I'm proud of myself for standing up to the person.

So Monday, I'm calling and getting switched to be an online member, and I'll try the support chat room. We will see how that goes.