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Sarahsmith
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14 Jul 2019, 5:56 pm

I have a friend that smokes occasionaly and smokes weed mixed with tobacco. I dont want to have to ask her this but would like her to smoke outside when Im down. Thought about saying no I dont want to come down anymore because you smoke but that would make it seem like I dont want to be friends anymore. Hope she can go outside and not get lazy about it.

Everyone smokes in this town and I dont want to be around it. I thought I was dying once. Never want to go through that again. Maybe I should just not visit her to be safe.

I hate how being involved with people can suck you into something dangerous. I feel trapped for some reason. Like I have no life options and Im being led down the wrong path.



Joe90
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14 Jul 2019, 7:08 pm

I don't have any advice really, as I live with a smoker who smokes indoors. He knows I don't like smoking, so he often smokes in the kitchen while I'm asleep or in the bath or gone shopping or at work, etc. But no matter how many windows he opens, the unpleasant smell of smoke still permeates through the whole apartment, and all the walls and ceilings in the living-room and kitchen are stained yellow. And I'm sure something in the smoke makes objects brittle, because a lot of things like coat hooks get covered in a mixture of nicotine and dust and then they finally snap off.
If nicotine or tobacco is capable of so much damage then I dread to think what it's doing to your body.

People who stupidly choose to smoke may not have any respect for their bodies but they should at least think about other people.


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Sarahsmith
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14 Jul 2019, 9:01 pm

Yeah it scares me. I think I can get her to smoke outside but am afraid she will try to tell me not to worry about it.



TheOther
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17 Jul 2019, 8:39 am

I would say just ask her nicely but simply.

Literally just say, "I am sensitive to the smoke. Do you mind smoking outside when I am around?"

The less dramatic you make it, and the less you lean into things like saying how bad it makes you feel, how bad it is for you, etc (all of which will just make the other person feel defensive instead), the better it will go. Phrase it as a simple request, like if you were asking them to get you a glass of water (or something else simple like that).

Now, if you ask her nicely, and she says no or makes a big stink about it, then she is not respecting your requests and you would be in the right to avoid her.

It isn't fair to just stop visiting her without asking nicely first. You have to give people the opportunity to do the right thing.



funeralxempire
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18 Jul 2019, 4:09 pm

Her house, her rules.
Why not have her over to your home instead, then you can dictate that she does it outside.

Joe90 wrote:
People who stupidly choose to smoke may not have any respect for their bodies but they should at least think about other people.


People who make demands on others about what they do in their own home in this sort of regard aren't in a position to complain that others lack respect for other people. Perhaps the person you live with needs to find a more suitable, more respectful roommate.


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