I need to lie by omission online

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IstominFan
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28 Jul 2019, 9:39 am

Sometimes "lying by omission" online is called practicing common sense and discretion. You don't want to blab your entire business online on social media. Some people do that, including pictures, and that's not smart. You could get yourself in a world of trouble.



KT67
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28 Jul 2019, 9:48 am

That's probably what it is in retrospect.

It's just as an aspie (and an extroverted aspie at that) I find it hard to do. It feels immoral.


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jimmy m
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28 Jul 2019, 10:01 am

KT67 wrote:
League_Girl wrote:

I don't see the point in lying, I just stay quiet about things.



This is exactly what I did.


As others have said lying is not appropriate. But what you are discussing falls more along the line of a ruse. According to Webster's dictionary a ruse is a trick designed to mislead or deceive someone. In your case it is a lie by omission. I place that in a different category. And I think a ruse is acceptable under certain circumstances. Other individuals do not have a right to know your most private thoughts and how you think.

So let me give you an example of a ruse.

One day when I was in the hallway of my 6th grade school, I was surrounded by a group of boys. They asked me what my nationality was. I sensed danger and said nothing. They looked at me. I was small and had large ears. They decided I was Japanese. I said nothing.

For the next three years, I was told every Japanese joke ever invented. Whenever they threw a joke my way, I maintained a stone cold face. That was a little hard to do sometimes because I wasn’t Japanese and a few of the jokes were actually a little funny. But if I showed any emotion, the jig was up.

To this day, if they are still alive, I wonder if they remember the little Japanese boy that went to their school. And I am still chuckling deep inside. That is my quirky sense of humor.

Now if I were Japanese, every one of their jokes would have been a dagger to the heart. And it also made me somewhat immune to any other criticisms they leveled in my direction. If they called me stupid, an idiot, a klutz, an imbecile; I knew deep inside I really wasn’t because I was pulling the wool right over their eyes and they didn’t even realize it. This almost made me bulletproof from psychological abuse.


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KT67
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28 Jul 2019, 10:37 am

It's more like if you were related to someone who was Japanese and you decided to keep quiet over it and let them think you were from a purely American family.

I hate assimilation but that's what it is.

Also - since when isn't this The Haven? Some people have been very rude on here. If I'd been up for that approach, I'd have taken it to social skills. Fact is lying by omission makes me feel very guilty but it's the social norm and my anxiety makes me prone to it, too.

I think NTs learn in teenage years to be quiet and lie about anything which is embarrassing. I never learnt that til my anxiety developed after being bullied on a regular basis as a teen and adult.


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