Feeling bad about new job

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Well, I've been working at a grocery store for six months now. I was hired as a cashier, and I've gotten pretty comfortable with the job, and get along pretty well with my coworkers. The one thing I still hate is dealing with customers with tons of coupons on some huge order. It's impossible for me to keep track of what all they bought and make sure things are the right size, etc. (sometimes the system won't scan a coupon. Sometimes it's just being weird and should accept it, and other times it's because they didn't buy the right size/variety of whatever the coupon was for). We've also been warned that a lot of fraudulent coupons are going around and that sometimes the system will still allow them to go through (I guess because a lot of times, the fraudster who made them stole a barcode from a real coupon) and I'm terrified of accidentally accepting fake coupons. Also, I am trying to get full time and make more money, so I need to try to advance somehow. Even though I can manage as a cashier, I can't see myself being customer service staff (people who work at the customer service counter).

So for that reason, I decided to try out the bakery. Luckily, I have a great relationship with my store manager. He's someone who I feel is really on my side and is willing to help. So he understands that I'm kind of trying to figure out the best fit for me, and that for right now, I'm not wanting to do a full transfer to the bakery. So they're just training me for now. I thought maybe it would be a good fit because 1. There are a bit less customer interactions, 2. There are skilled non-management positions, so you don't have to be a manager to make decent money, and 3. I've been working in a restaurant for five years (still work there now, but usually only one or two days a week) and even though I was a little nervous starting out, I came to really enjoy the job. I know the menu by heart now, and have an easier time talking to customers when I'm actually passionate about the food and can tell them all about it and help them make a decision on what to order. Despite my problems with fine motor skills and hand-eye coordination, I have gotten pretty comfortable making the food (although it is fairly simple...just sandwiches, salads, and pizzas).

So far, I do like working with the food in the bakery. I'm just training as a clerk, so I'm mostly just packaging stuff, and scanning/labeling them with prices and barcodes. But I am overwhelmed. There's so many products to learn about, and you have to know what they all are, and be able to tell the difference between all the different kinds of bread. I hope that it'll just take some practice, and that eventually, I'll have the same passion as I do at the restaurant and know everything by heart.

But I feel really crappy and depressed after what happened today. This morning, I was scanning and labeling all of the stuff that comes in frozen. There's this pizza dough that we sell that comes in frozen, and sometimes it can take awhile to thaw. Some of it was ok, so I did what I could, but left the rest of it that was still too frozen (and the clerk who's been training me told me to). Well, I did honestly kind of forget about the rest of the dough, only because I was sidetracked doing other things. Then, it came time for my break, so I went to check with the assistant manager and she told me to go ahead and go. I seriously, honestly only remember telling her that it was time for my break and she just said, ok, go, have a good break. But when I got back, another girl, who is the baker, just walked up to me and said, "if one of us tells you to do something, you need to do it." I was taken aback and had no idea what she was talking about. Then she told me that before I went on break, she had asked me to finish the rest of the pizza dough. I just apologized and said that I honestly had not heard her ask me to do this, but that I would get right to it. Then she said that someone else already did it, and claimed that she saw me look at her and look right at the pizza dough where it was sitting when she asked me. I was seriously puzzled. I do sometimes not process what people say to me (or process it very slowly), particularly in situations where I'm stressed or when I'm trying to talk to more than one person, so it's possible that this really happened...that she asked me and I heard her but my brain just didn't process it (does this happen to anyone else?) because I was kind of stressed and was talking to the assistant manager at the time. But I don't know. What if she already dislikes me for some reason and has it in for me and wanted a reason to get onto me? I just can never read people (especially other women) and tell what their intentions are. But I feel like I must have made a bad impression and started off on the wrong foot with her, and she thinks I'm lazy. She sure didn't seem to believe that it was an honest mistake, but thought that I clearly heard her but just decided not to do it.

I am still going to stick it out and keep trying, but I just feel like a failure after today and I feel like I made a bad impression on everyone (not just the baker, because she may have told the assistant manager and the others that I didn't do what she asked me to) and I am kind of wondering whether this is going to work out. I still worry about my poor fine motor skills causing problems. I'm already struggling with what should be a simple task...I am absolutely terrible at trying to put together a flattened box, and when customers come up to the case and want donuts or a small cake, we have to grab a flattened box, put it together, and then put the item inside of it. I still haven't even mastered putting together the stupid boxes, so I practically have a panic attack when a customer comes up wanting something that goes in a box, and feel so stupid when I have to ask for help. I may just have to do it tons of times before I get it. I did finally master putting together the pizza boxes at the restaurant I work at, even though it confused the heck out of me at first.

At any job you work, you will make mistakes. Everyone does. So the proper approach is to learn from your mistakes. It is probably best not to overthink this.

What I would probably do is talk to the Assistant Manager and explain that you are having problems folding the flattened boxes and that you would like to take a few home with you to practice on. If you practice enough the process of folding the boxes it can become an automatic function. One that you do not even think about.

In answer to your question, Yes, when an Aspie becomes severely stressed it can affect your hearing. People can talk to you and you will not be able to hear what they are saying. It is driven by stressful situations.