I can't do anything right now

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It's winter now and the days are very short. I dread going out. I don't want to do anything. I've got no energy. I'd like to draw something but right now I'm lying in bed, helpless. I'm so tired for some reason. I don't know what else to do other than wait for it to get lighter out, wait untill I have more energy. Maybe Im just burnt out. Maybe I just need a break from people, places and things.

I feel the same way, Sarah. My redneck father and stepfather aren’t helping things either. Do you wonder how you keep living despite feeling so much pain?

I don't wonder how I keep living because I don't want to die. That's pretty much all that is keeping me here. That and the thought that, just maybe, my ship might come in.

I wonder when the ship will arrive for me as well but my redneck father and stepfather make me impatient for it. I wish they would stay away from me.

Sarah, have you or your physician looked into Seasonal Affective Disorder? It’s a mood disorder subset in which people who have normal mental health throughout most of the year exhibit depressive symptoms at the same time each year, most commonly in winter. Common symptoms include sleeping too much, having little to no energy, and overeating.

Some people seem to find relief by using a specially-designed lighting array that mimics ‘summer’ sunlight. It might be worth looking into.

Yes I believe it is seasonal affective disorder. I usually start to feel better in Febuary because for some reason it gets bright and sunny during that winter month where I live. I dont really have room for the special lights you're supposed to get for SAD. Maybe after Christmas. I have decorations in the way. Maybe mom would buy me a light if my symptoms where bad enough. But you're right about the no energy bit. I feel like a total slug right now.

^ If that's the case then try to get some sunlight during the short (at least here) time sun is out. I've heard that even just 15 minutes a day helps.