Being ghosted hurts way too much -- how to recover?

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I am still struggling a lot to recover from a "situationship" that I had with this guy that I met over the summer. What happened between us would probably appear inconsequential to people who have been in longterm relationships, but it has had a really bad impact on me that I just can't shake off. I am depressed as hell... can't eat or sleep and can't stop crying.

Back in August, I met somebody who totally swept me off my feet. The connection we had verged on the sublime.... each time I saw him, we would spend 12+ hours together. Sometimes we would just sit with each other for 45 minutes. It was like we were so connected we didn't even have to say anything. He had this way of looking at me like he could see right into my soul, and it was so much intensity so quickly.

I know that I overinvested way sooner than I should have, but the thing is, he really pulled me in. He wanted so much for me to trust him and let him in, but once I did that, he pushed me away. He started to retreat from me, doing weird things and blowing hot and cold air. First it would take him over a day to respond to my texts. Then it would take 2-3 days, and then sometimes 4-5 days. Awhile ago, he told me that he wasn't ready for a relationship "because of stuff that happened to him very recently" and asked if I'd be willing to see him without those expectations. I was hurt but I figured, sure. I can settle for that. I just kept lowering and lowering my expectations because I just couldn't let this connection go. Eventually though, he just stopped calling me and texting me altogether. It's been a week and a half since I've heard from him. If I had to take a guess as to why he disappeared, I'd say he's probably with someone else now. The "stuff that happened recently" is most likely an ex-girlfriend reappeared in his life. I don't think it's a good idea to reach out to him, because he's obviously ghosting for a reason and I don't want to make things awkward. Plus I don't want the anxiety of waiting for a text that will probably never arrive.

I realize how trivial and boring this all sounds, but you have to understand where I'm coming from here. I'm a 27-year-old Aspie chick who has never had any friends and never had anything even remotely resembling romantic prospects. I have worked extremely hard over the years to improve my social skills, but it never seems to make much of a difference. Pretty much everywhere I go, I'm viewed as a complete loser. This guy was literally the ONLY person who I've ever felt good around. The only person who ever made me feel seen and cared about at all.

Even the crumbs he gave me made me feel so much less alone in the world. It was such a tremendous comfort to know that there was someone out there thinking about me, wanting to know about my private feelings and thoughts. The sex and the kisses were unbelievable.... nobody ever touched me or wanted me like that. It fills me with so much despair to think of how hard it's gonna be to find anything like this experience again. How could somebody like me who has so few options ever find this again? And have it last more than 12 weeks? I know I need to move on from this whole episode ASAP, but it hurts so so soooo much to know that all of this is gone. How do you get over being ghosted?

I am truly sad for you in your current pain. A man who behaves in such a callous way is so manipulative and calculated that he could never be worthy of you, and never was. Yet as you say, it is so painful to be treated so exploitatively. Your heart and soul got badly bruised, and of course it hurts terribly. It was not your fault; it was not anything you did. It was what he did to you.

You will recover, though it may take time, if this loss has triggered the buried pain of other losses too. Expressing your pain in a safe place is the way to start. It may help to seek support from a counsellor, and to explore the fears and hopes that led you to this place of pain.

I know it is terribly painful now, and may be for some time. Though these chaotic experiences of loss can and may open a new door to a major turning point in your life, where you might come to terms with the past generally in new ways. Loss forces us into the deepest parts of ourselves, and we often discover new or long forgotten things there which can begin the pathway to healing.

For now, stay safe and try to cherish and care gently for yourself every day in some way. You deserve so much more.

My sympathies. The end of a relationship is a terrible thing. The pain of heart-break...there is nothing like it.

Venting to people online helps.

Really sorry that happened to you. Been there, done that. Got over it, moved on. Lather, rinse, repeat. Every time it happens is still almost as bad as the first time, but never quite as bad.

Keep busy. Get a new hobby. Hug your cat or dog or rabbit or...

People who ghost are the worst type of break-up for people on the spectrum, I think.

Seriously, I feel for you. Take care of yourself.

I'm really sorry this happened to you. It's one thing when friends do this to you, but with a boyfriend? I know i wouldn't be able to recover and that's why i will never have a relationship.
Try to think of this experience as a warning at least. Because for these People, everything is easy. Friends and lovers Come and go. They can never understand our difficulties and the bonds we feel. So it's best to put some distance between yourself and people like this. Maybe this experience actually protected you from someone with much worse intentions. Because you are genuine and invest deeply in people, some people can try to take advantage of this. But because of this experience you can now protect yourself better. At least i hope so.

I just want to add, maybe you don't have the same beliefs but you have value and love inside you regardless if no one shows you love. Because i don't believe relationships between people are everything.

I am sorry you had this experience. Not sure if helpful: maybe identifying things learned from this experience will lessen future relationship hurt. I tend to need painful experiences to learn life lessons.