I'm not fit to be in public

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I have bittersweet feelings about toddlers. One time I was reading in a magazine that an evil, twisted man murdered his girlfriend's 2-year-old son, and when I saw a picture of the poor baby's face I burst into tears and wondered how someone could do such a thing. I would never even dream of hurting a toddler, no matter how loud and obnoxious they're being.

Oh, and thanks guys for making me feel better. Yes, my boyfriend does appreciate me. He always says I'm trusting, loyal, understanding, loving and thoughtful. (Take that, b***h who wrote that heartlessaspergers s**t site).

I think kids should be heard....but they should be encouraged to be respectful in public.

I grew up in a “kids should be seen, but not heard” regime, and felt stifled and unhappy as a result.

Kids should have fun, while being respectful.

That's me. My ASD coach says it's a blessing and a curse (just like the polar opposite is).

I am so sorry for this near unbearable upset.

I am coming to terms with the fact that many folks don't "get me", that I can only do so much to explain or mask. My husband shared this week that a colleague of his was impressed that recently I paid attention to her and wasn't so selfish. I always pay attention and care about her, but as usual it hadn't translated that way (to an NT). As a result of your post (thank you), I just asked him if next time he could take that opportunity to increase awareness for (provide feedback to) the NT (not just the ASD).

I have children. If I heard someone mutter: kids are sooooo loud. I would say "I agree." I am using earplugs now. My AS-like daughter is "well behaved" (as I was) in public places. My NT son is everywhere and I allow it to a degree. Usually we take him outside. I take that back --- I was quiet, but not well behaved ---- I was always crawling under clothes racks.

That's me also. And yet, I can see how I appear heartless. I had two relationship breakups and for both I was like "ok, then, we're done". Both guys were quite shocked and one wrote it seems I didn't care. Oh, I cared, but, my options are ON or OFF, and I had Life to continue, outwardly I shut that door and carried on. (I remained agitated inside of course. Too FULL of heart.)

Toddlers having temper tantrums does cause sensory overload for me, maybe more than any other noise. I just hate the sound of them and I rather not be near them.

Today in the supermarket there was some kid having a HUGE tantrum, and it was the loudest screaming I'd ever heard. I couldn't see the kid, but I could hear it, and it kept screaming the same words to it's mother (although I couldn't understand what it was saying because the words were distorted by it's monstrous screams). But it had a set of lungs because each scream must have lasted over 10 seconds. Even other people were looking and making annoyed faces, which is unusual because usually most people ignore the sound of babies and toddlers, but not this one. So it looked like I wasn't the only one distressed by it.

The supermarket wasn't too busy, and if I was the mother I think I would have put the shopping on hold and taken the kid out of the store and to the car (if I had one) until it calmed down. That behaviour was just atrocious, and it's what puts me off flying in a long plane flight. I just fear that I will get a tantrum-prone baby next to me or behind me or whatever and I would have to mask my agitation and sensory overload. I don't think I will be able to.

Yes, you have good instinct. That is what we do. One needs to take the time to parent (be willing to switch tasks and Focus on the parenting). It's really hard for me to tolerate otherwise (poor parenting IMO); I'd have to leave .

It's a hard lesson in life----but kids have to know that they can't get whatever candy or toy they want all the time.