Fed up.

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Just that really. I keep a good face on it but I am really fed up. The constant morning battles getting my daughter to school (she wants to go and is amazing academically but the anxiety is hard) the constant questions (She has a sickness phobia and so repeats the same questions over and over again as I am her safety net). Not ever having any time with my husband. Not having any time alone. I feel I have done this by always having good self awareness and just doing exactly what I can manage and never crossing into the territory of 'too much' as I know more would break me but now I feel what I can manage is not going to be enough.

Choose your own adventure -

Response #1: Hugs. Wishing you well as you navigate those challenging circumstances.

Response #2. One year or so ago, I handed over the morning routine to my NT husband and do pick ups, b/c drop offs are very difficult for me. Just last week it took me at least four hours to recover from an emotionally charged morning.

Response #3: Fantasizing - a loving picture guide, or video to hand my ruminating child. Partly addressing her phobia and partly meditative.

Response #2b: Yesterday a friend suggested that when I am about to explode that I merely sit down (right were I am, on a public sidewalk) and take a moment. It is rather simple and elegant. I like it. I always think I have to be responding this way or that and am frustrated I can't "get" there. Just a little break.

I'm sorry to hear you are having a rough time. Is there someone who could watch your daughter sometime so you could get some time with your husband? Maybe a date night would make you feel better.

I've soo been where you are, fez. It's been such a long road, and now my youngest is an adult, I can breathe again. Still not without hiccups, but so much better now. I agree with others, that a date night, or even having movie nights at home might help. Getting out is good though. Making sure you have time somehow, for you, with a hobby or just letting your hair down once your child/children are in bed for the night. Some "you" time ... I really feel for you ... it was soo difficult, and even traumatic at times ... sending hugs and wishing you nothing but the best...

Would hiring a babysitter so you can have some time to yourself help?