I felt this way a lot in my first year. However, things have changed since then. When I started my second year I experienced an unexpected spike in popularity. I found it to be quite strange. During our first year it took a while for my class to open up and communicate with each other. Then, at the beginning of my second year certain distant friends suddenly started having conversations more frequently with me. It felt as though the entire class was somehow a lot closer than before the summer break.
Then I had to join a group project. It went well for the most part, and I made a few more friends as a result. Personally, I wanted to put a bit more effort into building a social life since loneliness had taken a toll on me mentally in the first year.
On a few occasions at the start of my second year I even went to events I had little knowledge about to experience something new and to meet people (such as a drag show). I didn't understand the references, I copied the rest of the crowd's reaction, and felt rather out of place during the event. However, I did meet other students through this. Apparently it is sometimes customary to throw or spill things at/on the front row in drag shows, which is also common in pantomimes. So I learnt something from the experience at least.
A significant part of my friends I have met from another friend introducing them. Even friends of friends introducing their friends etc. Six degrees of separation and all that.
In my first year I stuck mainly to only hanging out with a few people I already knew. Admittedly I thought that I'd left it too late to establish myself since people already had their social groups. However, this turned out not to be true. Due to my initial shy behaviour it took longer, but new people did approach me and I became friends with some of them. Sometimes using a bit of humour helped.
My old flatmates in my first year definitely contributed to my loneliness. They'd throw parties in our communal kitchen and get annoyed if I showed up. Despite the space being communal. So I'd hear them partying and I'd feel left out. I'd see students in another building playing cards and it would make me sad since it made me acutely aware that I lacked a group. This made me wish I had a sense of belonging. I used to get homesick a lot. Admittedly I still do sometimes, but less frequently. I still care about my family, but I have gotten more used to living independently.
Nowadays I feel as though I belong. I am more familiar with my classmates. Back in my first year I used to sit with another classmate before lesson if I arrived early. I still do, but now there's three other people who bring over a chair and sit with us when they arrive. My friend is much shyer than me. I wouldn't call myself outgoing, but my friend makes me look that way in comparison. When my other classmates sit with us I pick up on my friend's apparent discomfort.
Another reason I felt lonely in my first year was that a different close friend of mine started hanging out with a bad crowd. They changed in ways that made them seem like another person. We became more distant. I was baffled at their choice in friends and wondered if I even knew them anymore. At this point we still are friends but not as close. I think that gradually fading away from them is my best option.
Hopefully things will improve for you. Feel free to send me a PM if you'd like to. Even if it's just to vent.
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Support human artists! Do not let the craft die.
25. Near the spectrum but not on it.