Cornering myself into a wall/Sitting alone.

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Probably wont go back to college soon. This may not *completely pertain to college itself but.. I could never socialize with people, focus on that class work for class/home setting, stay up with it.. I paid so.. much attention to teachers and also conversations of my peers but like.. If ever I go back, and I know this probably a heartfelt emotion but like, I am ignoring that lecture and the peers completely to go talk to myself in lecture mode near a wall or empty chair until it's over as the emotional intensity in this matter is great and like am not being allowed or given the chance to do meet ups where I have worked.. I may have had this chance at one point with college clubs and community therapy but like people move on so quickly and have never been able to keep up. Intelligence.. or just pure sloth characteristics or health or whatever is going on that pushes you back or never being able to stay in the same class as someone or see them again...It's painful. I have wished a long time ago on the FB wrongplanet group of a type of housing specifically for those types to exist.. I would not force it but for me, seeing the neurotypical layer or just those with higher function succeed all the time is painful. Even I have loved people from that place or background but like ultimately, even of my age group, even of job setting or hobby, there is this feeling of "never keeping up to pace" that never goes away and just not being to have quality of life without seeing people talk through doors all the time. I sometimes refer to this guy who seems to carry the proper emotions without the dysregulation of issues with empathy and more speed than me as something that looks like it could have been my child but like that isolating/loneliness feeling as other people move on lots and never come back or see them again, never seems to end. The only one who stays in a given area for a long period of time is me and me alone. I cannot help feeling this way sometimes. I know you have the internet and whatnot which *should be able to reach people more.. but then there also other contributing factors like the sole dedication of a relationship or just having too many or already fulfilled security and warmth from someplace else that some people just do not reach out at all. When I was public schooled before a period of being homeschooled for highschool, I wanted to prove to my unbelieving parents that I was capable of staying beside these people at the same speed but I am just realizing more and more that it is and was never possible for me.

Relax. You are more important then collage. Would doing a study course from home be the answer? Now college is good if it works for you, but if it is not working for you and stressing you out etc, then it maybe an idea to try a different route. (E.g. studying from home). If you can cope by staying at college, then go for it! But if not, then don't end up in anxiety and possible burnout needlessly. Only you know where you are in this regards. If you are coping then stay.
Have a word with the teachers and college. Teymaybe able to offer you a much needed break, where you can recover and get back in there! They may even be able to send you the work home for you to complete the course there instead. Only they know what they can offer. Without asking you will never know! Probably an idea to explain to them why just to they can understand where you are coming from.
And at the end of the day, health comes first, and then wealth. Studying provides future wealth possibilities. It is not essential for life, but it sure gives you a big headstart for your future, and you learn rhings, so it can't be bad!