Terrible ideas for movies

Post Reply New Topic

An action-thriller set in Portland with Anne Hathaway
as a suicidal woman who is kidnapped
after a botched suicide. Her protagonist's brain
is scanned. There are brainwaves implying that
she is doing it for sport.

After more tests, including a lie-detector test,
her suicidal protagonist passes every one of them.

She runs off, away from corporation-run scientific companies
who want her as a guinea pig, chase scenes a la Bourne Identity included.

Chase Scenes
By Foot: Waterfront Park
By Car: 82nd AVE
By Bike: Springwater Trail Corridor
By Bus: SE 39th AVE
By Light Rail: ANY Line heading in the same direction
By Streetcar: 9th AVE

Fight Scenes feature:
Pioneer Courthouse Square, Rose Quarter,
Lloyd Center Shopping Mall, Portland State University,
Expo Center, Delta Park, Washington Park, Oregon
Museum of Science & Industry {OMSI}, Pioneer Place Shopping Mall,
Portland Community College-Cascade Campus, St. Johns Bridge,
Burnside Bridge, Saturday Market, Broadway Bridge, Pearl District...

Ping Pong: The Movie

Someone Running Around In A Circle For 2 Hours

When Paint Attacks!

Antarctica Penguin

Antarctica Penguin 2: The Revenge

Antarctica Penguin 3: More Antarctica Penguins... with Guns!

Another Portland-set movie,
this time a dark action-comedy,
with Johnny Depp playing
a zookeeper at the Oregon Zoo.

One day, during a packed day
at the Oregon Zoo, Johnny Depp's zookeeper
notices that the animals he needs for
a demonstration on the zoo's lawn are gone.

What is a good zookeeper to do
when alternative animals are unavailble?

Simple. Go after them!

Chase Scenes will Feature:
Washington Park
Hoyt Arboretum
Portland Japanese Garden
International Rose Garden
Kelly Point Park
Sauvie Island
Oaks Bottom Wildlife Refuge
Eastbank Esplanage
Swan Island Beach
Wildwood Trail

I got one - this is sure to win:

The Hills - The Movie.

White, interchangeable, rich pretentious d***he-bags living their comfortable, trust-fund-financed, cushy lives - now on film.

Staring at Computers: The Movie

Streetcar: The Movie

Flab: The Movie

Anything that casts will ferrel with a role.

Night of the Living Infant!

Thrill to this eight-hour epic of ultimate realism, in which a baby (Will Ferrell) sleeps for two hours at a time, then half-wakes and cries until someone gives him his bottle (Danny DeVito)!

Don't miss the astonishing 2 am diaper-changing scene!

More and more so, anything that they want Wil Ferrel to star is is a bad idea.

Daycare of the Dead - A daycare staff must deal with zombie toddlers hungry for flesh.

Toy Bore-y

A prequel/spin-off of Disney/Pixar's Toy Story series, taking place shortly after the first movie, which shows the secret "lives" of the beloved characters. Except they are like real toys and don't come to life at all when humans aren't around. Watch Woody (not voiced by Tom Hanks or anyone else because none of the toys talk in this version) just sit there staring blankly on Andy's bed while Andy is at school. He just sits there and does nothing, like a real toy. As do all the other toys. This goes on for the whole 90-minute movie. It's really boring. But in a kind of interesting way.

Hmmm, I guess if the toys were never sentient, they couldn't have a series of Toy Story movies at all. Jessie and Bullseye would have never come to stay Andy, either.

One that actually exists: several years ago now, a friend and I were supposed to rent some Hong Kong Cinema kung fu movie, but we got the wrong movie in the box. Instead of some kung fu action, we got an extended intro sequence (20-30 minutes) of shirtless and morbidly obese Chinese dudes loading butchered pigs onto a truck, with no dialogue. There were no subtitles, but we kept watching for the sheer absurdity of it. The only noteworthy thing that seemed to happen for the entire runtime (2-ish hours) was that the main pig farmer guy has an argument with his girlfriend (who briefly appeared in one early scene, and then reappears much later to die) and accidentally kills her. I think it's implied that he feeds her to the pigs to get rid of the body, but I honestly can't recall.

The Second Room

A unnecessary sequel to the 2003 "so-bad-it's-good" cult film The Room, not to be confused with the 2015 Oscar-winning film of the same name.

Poodle of Terror: The Dog who Licks People to Death

Based on my dog Merlin.

Id like remake of Clones of Bruce Lee by Tim Burton , could work as horror martial arts hybrid