Difficulty with coping

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I've never found any really good ways of coping with stress.I have caused physical pain in myself simply by thinking about the bright light or other sensations that could bother me. I can't seem to force myself to think about negative things only when I need to deal with the thing causing it. Negative thoughts pop into my head and I can't force myself not to think about them and they don't stop coming.I have trouble with feeling that people are mad at me when they aren't and feeling things are worse than they really are. Often I can't find ways of dealing with something before the next thing pops up and since this covid thing started things have become extremely unbearable and they were already unbearable.What can I do that will finally work for me and maybe give me a sense of peace or calm that lasts long enoughz

With me everything got slowly better after I continued to do new things and go to social gatherings regardless of how it turned my stomach and brain into knots. Desensitizing until after awhile these things only bother you sometimes. I got into the habit of planning my days very loosely - eliminated the need to brace myself against all possibilities of how things can go wrong. Except for work I rarely commit to an amount of time that I'm attending - allowing me to leave if necessary without offending or if I feel anxious - and somehow it also allows me to me more relaxed and I often end up staying for much longer, and having fun. Once you can introduce some level of positivity into your life ("that wasn't so bad") you should be open to try even more things. You soon realize MOST people aren't paying attention to you at all, and the few who do you can easily avoid. It was a slow process I admit, but I would have been so much worse off if I always played life safe. Things in your environment can be adjusted to better suit your needs.
I should state I rarely notice I'm stressed until I am already in the thick of it. So I have learned to avoid certain situations as well. If a situation makes you uncomfortable - decide if it is even necessary to do, find a work-around.

[quote="I love belko61"]With me everything got slowly better after I continued to do new things and go to social gatherings regardless of how it turned my stomach and brain into knots. Desensitizing until after awhile these things only bother you sometimes. I got into the habit of planning my days very loosely - eliminated the need to brace myself against all possibilities of how things can go wrong. Except for work I rarely commit to an amount of time that I'm attending - allowing me to leave if necessary without offending or if I feel anxious - and somehow it also allows me to me more relaxed and I often end up staying for much longer, and having fun. Once you can introduce some level of positivity into your life ("that wasn't so bad") you should be open to try even more things. You soon realize MOST people aren't paying attention to you at all, and the few who do you can easily avoid. It was a slow process I admit, but I would have been so much worse off if I always played life safe. Things in your environment can be adjusted to better suit your needs.
I should state I rarely notice I'm stressed until I am already in the thick of it. So I have learned to avoid certain situations as well. If a situation makes you uncomfortable - decide if it is even necessary to do, find a work-around.[/quote
Maybe I need a meditation to convince myself that I am safe? I believe that I am but I can't convince myself. Often I think people are mad at me when they aren't.I think often I don't identify what's going on in situations well and I can't seem to not let my negative thoughts bother me of somehow shut them down.Since covid started things have gotten much worse.

I've been slipping a bit myself since covid started. As much as I say I don't need people I've realized that I do. I still don't socialize and keep my distance due to covid but I do go for walks where I can at least see people. I nod hi and smile, it helps a lot. I text, call and use WhatsApp much more than before. It helps being on WP too.
Don't let your fears win. I know it's difficult to believe but much of it will get better as you age. One of the biggest things that helps me is making sure I get enough me time resting, or doing something I enjoy. This way I am better able to handle the unexpected.

Thanks! What you said helps me.Hoping that my 40s turn out to be awesome!