Anybody else have this urge to just drop out of society?

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I mean, I've been through a lot and if you check through my post history, you'll understand that I've known little kindness in life. What should've been an interesting, welcoming childhood turned out to be an absolute nightmare.

I genuinely want to improve and better my situation, but I'm at a point in life where I just cannot do anything anymore. I barely have the strength to continue fighting, even though I should appreciate the beauty of the world.

Sometimes I feel like just dropping out of society and just living a reclusive life like JD Salinger or something. Anyone else feel like I do?

Absolutely. For years, I hoped I'd grow the same size cajones as Chris McCandless (aka Alex Supertramp) and start my life anew in the Alaskan wilderness. Poor Chris. He wasn't prepared and only lasted 3.5 months till he died from starvation.

Lots of people think along these lines, though. In fact, there's a whole island of them (pop. 400) in Canada called Lasqueti Island. I've been thinking about going up there myself but I guess I'm spoiled because life up there is really rough - no electricity, no internet, catch your own water, make your own sewer system, provide your own medical care, etc. You can't just move to the island, either. You have to be invited. They do have a motel there so you can check out the place but you'd really have to be an outdoorsman to survive there.

It has occurred to me yes, but I know it's not something realistic for someone like me if I actually want to live, which I do, so no can do.

Another option for me would be to start over within this society, but far away enough that there's no one around who knows me. I've been wanting to do this since my preteen years, but this one's not exactly realistic either because of my disabilities, at least not yet.

The only reason I have not done something like this, is religious obligation (can't go to a church if you are living in the absolute middle of nowhere) and my desire to maybe find a wife. (Girls generally do not care for living in old cars, holes in the ground, homemade shacks, or old abandoned houses.)

Yes. More so when I was younger. I now have a small house in the woods that meets most of the need for that. I can no longer be self-sufficient though with so many medications needed to keep me healthy.

The prevailing idea in the NT dominated world is that a person who chooses to live alone or chooses a reclusive life, a solitary life is troubled and such a life if they chose to live it would be unhealthy for them. I disagree and believe that kind of thinking to be surprisingly obtuse.

Throughout history there were hermits who chose to live apart from society. I don't recall the name of the Bishop many centuries ago, but a hermit was absolutely against being made a Bishop in place of continuing to live his solitary life.

Salinger didn't move to the Alaskan wilderness to "drop out of society" to be apart from society. If you're truly happier living a solitary life you should pursue that life and make necessary plans to achieve that goal.

I know a hermit who is doing that! He lives in a hut. He is a trim and tidy old priest who writes for the Catholic papers and generally is a great guy all the way round. He's got to be almost ninety by now though, so I hope he can keep on doing his thing. Yes, he has visitors; yes, he goes over to a church and takes care of that for people--but he is a hermit & the only reason he is not quite as reclusive, is because we don't want to find him dead some day.

I have kind of been there for years and it is annoying because the more I try to drop out, the more friends of the family try to get me included in things because they are horrified that I want to drop out? It is as if they think it is some sort of dreadful thing? Why is it a dreadful thing?

It's a dreadful thing to most people because most people have a deep-seated fear of solitude of any length other than fleeting solitude. It's unconscionable to them that anyone would prefer solitude and even thrive on it.

Last edited by Magna on 04 Jun 2020, 12:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I dropped out years ago, and I don't even visit.

I drop out in the weekends,
weekend =a gift by society

I sort of have been for about 2 months now. I'm still in contact with a few friends and work colleagues, but I'm a lot less stressed at the moment. I'm not a people person.

I am odd in that I need my Mum or someone I am close to just to be there, as if I am totally alone I tend to just sit there. Yet I also am naturally semi reclusive? I say semi reclusive as I love to drive down country lanes and I drive to de-stress, but if I go somewhere I much prefer to go somewhere quiet where there are not many people around, and if I meet someone I may smile or if they say hello I will say hello back, but I don't naturally try to talk to anyone unless I have to (E.g. if I am in a shop).
BUT, if I am with someone like my Mum or someone else I am happy with, I open up and talk lots! I am a strange mix... But I am an introvert. I am a person who does not like social gatherings and a nightmare for me is to have to attend a party! Even worse is if someone has put on a big surprize party for me as when I get a birthday, I want to go to somewhere where very few others are there and go for a walk on a lonely beach or a place like that. Just take my Mum and maybe my brother and his wife... Just a few close people. Not this birthday as we have been in lockdown, but last birthday, I did just that, and I had the rare experience of unmasking and I felt soo wonderful it was amazing. The weather was windy and it looked as if it would rain, so hardly anyone was there on the beach and the cliffside walk. The shops were empty. It was wonderful!

If I could afford to Course I’d be super lonely but I’m mostly super lonely anyways

Sly, go check in the garage or attic for a typewriter. You are lonely. Some see it as a drawback; it is, but it can be a resource as well. You have time now, Sly. You have time, but do you have the desire?

Write, Sly, write!

Women like it. Lots of girls are amateur writers. Men like it. You don't have to be a James Patterson. Most people could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap a better novel anyway. Just sit down and go for it. Don't like it, rewrite part of it. Have fun. Write about something you like.

This seems like a moot question to me. This is largely who we are, not something we have to choose to do. If we were capable of fully participating in "society", we wouldn't be ASD. I find I can only participate in one aspect of society at a time with enthusiasm and competence. Luckily I had a career that allowed me to be successful since I was able to focus my interest there for much of my life. When the major focus shifted to other things, I was just coasting in my career. We are terrible at a achieving a work/life balance.

To become a hermit would require having an interest suited to a solitary life. Religion, nature, etc. Also one would have to be a true introvert, which many of us aren't.